Swallow My Pride #3
Directed by David Luger
Redlight

The way the guy that fucks Arian Jollee is pawing at her and muttering “Ohmygod, youhavesuchniceskin” is just fucking creepy, man. I half expect him to pull out a carving knife and slice off a chunk of her thigh for breakfast. Also, around this time the screen suddenly flashed blue and it says “Unrendered”. What kind of subliminal message is that? Anyway, Ariana still looks like a piece of psychedelic candy (maybe that’s why he wanted to eat her), and her scene is typically super-hot. And Christ, that pussy squirting thing she does is crazy. The guys are a little too scattershot with their sexplosions for her to do all that much swallowing, but no harm, no foul.

Latina Peaches Arnez is only 4 foot 6, which is very close indeed to a midget. She’s gotta weigh about 75 pounds, and the already oversized cocks she handles look like table legs in her tiny fists. Yet, she endures, filling every hole, and gulping down the evidence like a baby bird. The cold sore is kinda unfun, but hey, it’s flu season.

Demi Marx seems to have stolen a giant’s dentures. She might wanna think about getting those things chiseled down before they accidentally bite somebody’s foreskin off. She gets the usual treatment from Brandon Iron, but the interesting part happens when he missed her mouth (how the fuck can you miss a target that big?) and splotches all over the rug. Maybe they told that they weren’t gonna pay her unless she actually swallowed, because she dives right down to the floor and licks it all up like a dog. Even hard-hearted Brandon is impressed with that righteous display.

Umm…well, Carmen Perez is a Latina that’s pretty much already hit the wall at the tender age of 19, and her partner in grime Trinity James looks like an unwed mother fucking for WIC coupons, so let’s move on before this all gets too sad.

Cindy Crawford (“That’s my real name”, she says. You mean to tell me that the first 18 year old porn chick to use her real name happens to have the name of the world’s most recognizable supermodel? What are the fuckin’ odds of that?) looks kinda like Gwyneth Paltrow, so if you’ve ever fantasized about degraded Mizz phony English accent, then this scene’s for you. This chick gives extraordinary head, so much so that the guy gives her a ‘double-pop’, sending wave after wave of gunk down to her belly. The second guy can’t quite give her the same treatment, but he pours a fair share of glue down there too. She actually seems disappointed when it’s all over, like she was hoping for another shot or two. I’m sure they worked something out for her. You get a whole extra (POV) scene with Cindy in the bonus materials, too.

Although there’s not as much cumguzzling at you’d expect from the title, solid scenes from up n’ cumming superwhores Jollee and Crawford make Swallow My Pride #3 worthwhile. Now lock up that guy Jollee’s been fucking, ‘cuz I’m pretty sure he’s gonna unrender somebody soon.

-Sleazegrinder