Wetbrain, I have a suggestion that might be helpful... If you can flag certain text and have it automatically changed (such as how you change the N-word to "Tritone"), would it be possible for you to flag slanty quotation marks and apostrophes so they're automatically changed to the ones that don't result in blank posts?
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"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.