At this point in my life I prefer prostitution to actual relationships. I have intimacy and self esteem issues and when I love someone the sex quits altogether and she is then very hurt and she generally starts sleeeping around. It almost always plays out in that way. I love whores but not affectionately. The last hooker I was with allowed me to pinch her nose shut as I pushed my penis to the back of her throat and beyond and she did barf. It was all discussed beforehand of course except the barf, for which she did not add on to the fee. The point I trying to make is when I was 12 and saw a pretty girl I fantasized about combing her hair after she got out of the shower while I rubbed my peter in the crack of her warm, wet ass until I ejaculated all over her back. Around that time I discovered my Dad's vhs pornography. It was Greg Dark's 'Black Throat'.