I'm well flattered that I project this image of me in your mind, but it simply isn't true. I'm actually a very sweet man. Ask Gia. I've never met her but she has a feline intuition about character and I'm pretty sure she has me correctly pegged as a sweetheart, though I might be wrong.
I lied. I have one arrest around 2000 for a DUI in which I horrifically mangled my Dodge Omni in a thankfully one car accident. They had to bring in a flatbed to cart it away. One of the cops kept saying "I don't understand how this kid is still walking around!" He was clearly a rookie because drunks are notorious for walking away from wrecks unscathed when they take out a family of 4.