I didn't know you could buy prepaid cards for cell providers without having to buy a new burner phone.

So this brings up a few other questions:

1. If she actually is keeping insurance on the buggy, where does she mail the payment? And what form does it take? I highly doubt she has thought this through as much as our little cabal, but it's an interesting discussion.

2. If she is using a prepaid debit card, does she keep reloading the same one, or does she just buy a new one at Walmart when she's running low? It's quite expensive to rely on those cards in terms of per-transaction and activation fees. The only bank I can see that might even be able to service her needs on this Homeric odyssey is JPM Chase. If she could make it to the NY state line, she could turn some tricks in Hell's Kitchen, then hightail it for Saratoga Springs and the Canuckistani border. Maybe even celebrate with a nice dinner at Peter Luger.

3. Has anyone alerted Tranzer that a mature luvlioness is headed his way? Maybe Alex could steal some rubles and kopecks from his grandparents Soviet apartment and entertain Dana with his radioactive crank and a free enema.

Someone call a Hollywood script writer stat!