I was just taking out the weekly trash and one of my garbage bags started blinking brightly. I thought I'd thrown out something expensive by mistake, so I ripped into the bag. It was a half-gallon bottle of Belvedere vodka with a blinking LED at the bottom. I guess this is a hidden feature. I was hoping maybe I had won something.

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"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.