A two parter from a Shaggy Bevo poster in a thread titled "Is Anal Overrated?"

I had a few girlfriends who would ask me if I wanted to stick it in their butt now and again but other than being a little change of pace it never did much for me. Mostly, I didn't like having to move as slow as a glacier and always being worried like I was gonna break something. Then I had a new girlfriend who seemed to be really into it and feeling like I could fuck her ass with a little more vigor I said sure. What she didn't mention was that she had colitis. Yeah.. I should tell that story sometime..

And a little later he does.

We were in a motel room and it's kinda dark and I get it in there and start to go to work and then I get this whiff of what smells like coffee and something else I can't quite place. Almost at the same time she crawls away from me in a hurry (later she would tell me she felt something running down her leg) and turns on the light. All I can say is that my mid-section, the sheets, carpet, and even part of the dresser behind me looks like someone threw a shovel of mud at a screen door. She panics and gathers everything around the bed that isn't nailed down and piles it into a corner...I hop in the shower.. and I still don't know how she did it or what she said but she had us in a new room by the time I got out.

Ran into her a while back and to this day I'm the last guy who ever stuck a dick in her ass. So I guess I got that going for me... which is nice...