I drank all day yesterday. In fact, I was mostly drunk this entire week. Last night I kissed 3 strippers, got two phone numbers and can't remember anyone's name. I also thought I lost my coat at the club and just started wandering around picking up other people's. I even put one on at one point and was like, "I didn't have all this shit in my pocket before...oops, sorry!" I'm actually amazed I didn't get kicked the fuck out for being a thief.

Now I'm texting a girl and trying to ignore the fact that I can't remember her name. That reminds me of this time in Vegas when my friend fucked this girl and then was hanging out with her afterwards and couldn't remember her name. He just kept referring to her as "Sexy," until she finally figured he didn't know her name. It ruined everyone else's night because she called him on it like this: "If you can tell me my name, I'll call 2 more girls to come over and hang out with your friends..."