I know all that. According to one of her shoots, she was waiting for HBK to axe for her hand. But with all that in mind, I really believe Candido was the love of her life. I'd like to believe that she'd have pulled it together had he lived. But probably not. I just have to wonder if she'd be as deep in the hole as she is now. Depression is rage turned inward, and I think she really eats a lot of guilt and self hatred.