I went to the ER a few years back after a brawl outside a strip club (because I'm classy). One of the doctors who overheard the story came over to me after everyone else left the room. He was a big guy with an eastern European accent: "Why you don't have girls just come to you? Is much better." He tried giving me a business card, which I probably should have taken.

The when two discs ruptured in my neck a few years back, I went to see an esteemed neurosurgeon. He gave me a script for some pure hydrocone, so I no longer had to drape my left arm over my head to relieve the pressure from the discs on the nerve. Feeling better that night, I got drunk and went to the Alaskan Bush Co. and there was my doc with glasses on and a ballcap pulled way down. All he said was, "It's good, isn't it?" He cut my throat open and operated on my spine a few weeks later.

As for Viagra, my endocrinologist kept one of her long-term diabetes patients alive for 5 years with the stuff.

Do you hunt? Most of the world record stuffed Alaskan bears that I've seen on display were taken by doctors. And in the recovery room after knee surgery, my doctor informed me that he was getting ready to go bow-hunting for a lion soon. God complex.