This seems like a good time to discuss my baptism. The priest was drunk and dropped me in the baptismal urn instead of just dunking me into it briefly like he was supposed to. My uncle had to rush forward to save me from drowning.

My priest was in a hurry because his girlfriend was waiting for him just off in the background. In fact, he was hurrying so much that his priestly robes caught on fire and he had to be doused with Holy water just to keep from burning to death. This was my introduction to humanity. I'm not too worried about Krampus.