Holy fucking shit. I was a little bit drunk and little bit high and went to a strip club last night in a great fucking mood. Unfortunately, I apparently turned into some sort of a Cunt Magnet. Very different from a Pussy Magnet. The waitress sold me a $12 pack of cigarettes, then refused to give me any matches "There aren't any matches here! No, not any matches in the entire fucking building!"

Then after the "house-mom" found me some matches, I went outside to smoke and it was too windy to light up. So I stepped into the entryway of the bar, lit my cigarette and went outside to smoke with the hottest girl in the club. I was on my way back in for a dance when the girl working the door said, "Fuck you! You're 86'ed! You smoked inside the building and we can get in a lot of trouble for that. It's all on camera!!" And then she let in this other guy who had just done the exact same fucking thing.

Then in the parking lot, I was about to get a lift home from a couple of guys when this bitch jumped out of the front of the car and started yelling at me, "Fuck no we aren't giving you no fucking ride! Hahahahahaha!!!"

Fuck I fucking hate people sometimes.