I was charmed & delighted almost to the point of fainting by a movie I was sure, unless I miss my guess, was either Tron Legacy or Fast and The Furious: Glowsticks Edition, and as a fan of the original (revolutionary at the time) I committed myself to 2 hours of computer mumbo jumbo and guys in latex suits playing dance-frisbee.

And it is here we find the guy that won an oscar for Crazy Heart, now reduced to wearing pajamas and hoodies in a bright white sort of batcave thrown over last-minute by pottery barn and stocked with maybe the finest piece in the digital domain, played by the girl on the boxcover. And do you think he got a taste? "Nah, later for that." Not even a whiff! Seriously, WTF was all that about.

The plot is straightforward catastrophe by a five-year-old screenwriter paid in skittles but the soundtrack doesn't suck and gave the new HSU subs a workout. All in all its dead, crucified, regurgitated and mass marketed fish feed before it takes one suck from the bottle. #DOA