Thursday, August 19, 2010



The past few days I've come to EVEN MORE realizations in regards to some emotions which have recently manifested from some situations I've dealt with over the past couple of years in particular.

These aren't shallow and superficial emotions - more like deep low lying thoughts that I've had to face, and luckily have the skill set and strength to deal with.

These emotions basically have to do with the issues of racism, sexism, and prejudice.

Many may disagree with me, but the Los Angeles area "porn circuit" is composed of MANY individuals who harbor deep rooted racist and sexist beliefs. Yes, I realize that in our country we have "freedom of speech" and that especially in the adult entertainment arena, people should realize that it's not a "politically correct" walk in the park. However I'm starting to wonder if quite possibly - certain freedoms DON'T need exist in our country as of current, simply because certain freedoms are indeed the vehicle of which much hate and intolerance is spread.

If you are reading this, I invite you to take a look at the following thread on an adult industry related forum (it's quite a few pages but people need to look at this):

http://www.xxxporntalk.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=dvdtalk&Number=493842&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1

Some may say "oh, this is just a silly forum" - but guess what - it's not. There are many posters and readers who work within the world of the porn industry who regularly read and participate on this website's message board.

I probably shouldn't have gotten involved in the argument I linked from here to, however I did and I found myself writing things that some would probably say "whoa, that's pushing it to far - some might label YOU as a racist".

Well, maybe I do have some racist beliefs within me that I didn't know were there until recently. Maybe I'm to the point of which I feel if non black people (not just whites - Latin people, Asian people, multiracial people, etc) can consistently pick myself and my other black sisters apart by saying things like "oh that's a pretty black girl because she looks more European" where as "that black girl isn't attractive because her facial features look like a monkey" or "that black girl must be ANGRY because she speaks her mind - typical - no wonder black MEN don't even find her attractive" - I feel I should have the right to say that certain "white people" are obviously more "white" or "European" than other supposed whites who are multi-racial (beige).

What exactly IS white now days? I just don't buy into this "if you pass as white your white" mindset anymore. I have a feeling I will be doing a project on "re-racial classification" at some point because if all ethnicity's can't be seen as "human" I want some specificalities addressed.

I still question why the only porn considered INTERRACIAL (IR) is a person of ANY ethnicity with a black person?

I as of current definitely should not EVER have become an adult actress because I'm FAR TOO SENSITIVE in regards to being attacked racially. Hell, pick on something else about me but NOT my ethnicity! I'm one of those people who will NOT ignore it because turning a blind eye to a problem doesn't lead to it ever being addressed or fixed! I find it AMAZING how other ethnicities are able to get away with being BLATENTLY racist by saying "oh, just ignore it" to many blacks who in fact DO which is HARMFUL to themselves in the end.

I'm starting to find in my life in general, the "whites" who seem to have the most problem with black people DO tend to fall into the category of "beige". I'm not so certain many white americans I've encountered with negative racial issues especially pertaining to blacks are essentially "truly white" themselves (and I suspect that's why they have the issues - insecurity in their "whiteness").

I wrote my comments on the XXX porntalk forum as I did for a reason - I wanted to see if the posters/readers would be able to just "ignore" my racist remarks as they claim black people should "rise above" all the "nigger this" and "nigger that" remarks (and racist photos they post) that are consistently posted about blacks in and out of the adult entertainment industry. Apparently these people dish it out but they can't take as you'll see here:

http://www.xxxporntalk.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=dvdtalk&Number=493842&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=4&vc=1

Anyways it just seems to me, that too many individuals working in adult entertainment want to turn a blind eye to the "black pay rate", the way blacks are treated often on set, the lack of roles in "mainstream porn" for black performers and the lack of recognition we receive. I tried to give this industry a chance - but it definitely is not for me AT ALL in regards to my trying to work within it in any capacity other than for myself. Truthfully, I'm AFRAID to ever walk on anyone's pornset again due to my not knowing who has deep issues of racism and who DOES NOT.

A good friend of mine called me yesterday in regards to some things I posted on the XPT forum, and told me that I was essentially "making myself look bad" and "burning bridges". Well - GOOD! I really don't care anymore HOW I look to ANYONE that hasn't taken the time to at least read my website bio and maybe a portion of my blogs (or just get to know me). I don't care about who in porn wants to work with me in the future because the only "porn" I will be creating and distributing in the future will be done 100% independently by ME.

I feel anyone I work with in the future in regards to much of ANYTHING I do will be working with me because they WANT TO and feel that it would be WORTHWHILE because of my accomplishments - not my reputation, credibility or here say.

I really hate how so many individuals have gone out of there way to write negative things about me, pick me apart and diss me when I've done nothing but try to help and inform and educate other women (of all ethnicities) as to what working as an adult actress is really about (via my websites -------------------- and ----------------------------)

I noted that I will post the names and photos on my blog of some dangerous individuals I've encountered while working in porn (2 rapists, and 3 individuals who are criminals) - and I will - however not today - I'd like those who know I will name them to feel a bit on edge for a while.

Anyways, as of current, I suppose I'll just keep doing my thing. I feel I'm on a good life track and I'm fortunate enough not to need any "connections" to anyone for anything to get my goals in life accomplished.

I'm still not against porn (or whites for that matter), I'm just against many of the idiots who work within it who are cringing at the thought of "change" (even though it's inevitable - and as long as I'm breathing - WILL continue to encroach closer and closer upon them).

Like me, hate me - at least I'm always me and I don't hide.
Posted by Monica Foster at 11:24 AM