AEBN/VCX/Porno Dan Party @ Opera (Revised) - 09/29/2009


Before going to AEBN/VCX/ Disco Dan Party! - do you guys like my Wu-tang necklace?

Sad to report this wasn't all that exciting. Very few porn people were there. Just TONS of civilians. They tried to charge us $20 each to get in at the door, but fortunately I drug Porno Dan and King Ryan over to save the day. A few exciting things did happen:

-Rick Garcia took our picture. Sylvina and I are wall to wall boobs, so I'm sure that picture will be quite wild. And, it is--there's 2 pics of us and it's in my MySpace photo album.

-I may have gotten a new client--a new redheaded MILF on the scene. Spoke with her and her manager. Not saying her name because I don't want to jinx it.

-James Bartholet told me that all this time he thought I was a performer and he was serious about it. I think he meant it and wasn't just snowing me. OK, it was a fluff to the ego. He told me if I change my mind I should let him know and I should really consider it. Then, he felt my tits up. I let him because it was just so over the f-ing top. Guess I'm moving up in the world, because last time he just smacked my ass. And people keep telling me that I should be in porn--something to think about...

-We met this Aussie guy, Adam, in line (yes, they made us stand in line for now apparent reason except to make it look like it was off the hook inside). He was trying to tell all these girls (and some weren't porn chicks) how amazing of a publicist that I am. I told this one group of girls that he's my assistant I tie him to a chair and whip him all day long--they thought it was hilarious. He was just drunk and laughed along. And no, I didn't give him my business card.

-Let's see who was there that actually worked in porn...Danny Ting from WantedList, Derek from LA Direct (and he wasn't on fire), a ton of blonde porn chicks with big fake tits including Angel Vain, Tommy Gun, Porno Dan, James Bartholet and Sasha Brand. Very low industry turn-out.

I could have brought my camera, but was worried about being thrown put, so the pictures we took before we left are posted (also in my MySpace photo album). The night ended well with a late night snack of cheese blintzes at Canters. OK, enough, I still have 45 minutes left to chant and it's after 2am. I'm signing off.




Bon Voyage Mae Victoria & Champagne Enemas - 08/01/2009


Uugh yeah, i have russian roots

Mae West is heading out to the Bunny Ranch, so I went to her Bon Voyage party to send her off in style along with an eclectic bunch of her close personal friends. I headed to Jeff Coldwater's house in Northridge for the festivities. Last Sunday at the Urban X Awards, she invited me and begged me to do champagne enemas with her--I had 5 days to decide if I wanted to do it. And when I asked her what I could bring, she said. "Your titties on a platter." I don't think they make a platter that big. LOL

The evening started off with getting the stage ready for Mae to bellydance, which she was incredible at--two guys videoed it and I snapped photos. Then, Mae was the first to get 2 enemas. Next, it was my turn. I decided to go into a private room where Jeff shoots porn and let Mae go for it. I didn't want to do it in front of everyone, especially one totally perverted director whose name begins with a "D", who stalked me all night long. The first enema was weird--bubbly, a bit of a sting and a weird feeling in the tummy. By the 2nd one, I was totally relaxed and was amazed at the feeling. And the thought of having this act done to me by a porn starlette was a huge turn-on. 10 minutes later, I was totally blitzed out of my mind--it was like I drank 6 beers. I started laughing and barely made it to the toilet. It was definitely an out of body experience that I highly recommend. After it, I felt brave and adventurous for trying something like that.

The rest of the night was spent eating, talking about the good old days of porn (there was some porn veterans there) and listening to 80s music. It was one of the best parties I've been to in awhile. And, it only took me 2 hours to get sober. Up your ass is the only way to drink. Really. And there were no calories involved.

The photos are on my Flickr at flickr.com/monkeygurl. You must log in via Yahoo or Flickr to view them, since my account has been restricted. Look under 'Sets" for Mae Victoria's Bon Voyage Party. There aren't any pics of me getting an enema, but there's plenty of Mae Victoria--there can't be any documentation of my antics (just a mental picture is enough). And be warned, these pics are very graphic and not for the faint at heart!






my new ride - yes i fit in the mini


At the Polaroid art show! - Look at my "BORN FAT" shirt


I rock






hihi


Shot before heading off to Red Lion on my bday


What are you looking at?


Another model shot by St. Mykal


Vanessa Blake Went for My Tits at the 2010 XBIZ Awards


Corinne & Badanov at the XRCOs


Glasses can be sexy




Coming Up on 1 Year of Being a Nichiren Buddhist 02/03/2009



Last March, I made the big jump from Tibetan Buddhism (which wasn't working for me) to Nichiren Buddhism. I can definitely say that it changed my life. Here's a little humorous overview of what I learned:

-It doesn't matter how you practice/chant--it's the intent. A few examples of this would be the people who have given me grief for having my altar in my bedroom, swaying and/or crossing my legs when I chant (more on them later), and needing a chair to sit in (versus sitting on my bed). Some people in the organization have some control issues and forget that Preesident Ikeda (our fearless leader/mentor) tells us it is what is in the heart.

-I became more than a little obsessed with my chanting beads. I started out with fancy pink pearls and then got some plastic black ones for my purse (they tend to travel better). Then, I got some Milk Beads from Japan. Super fancy, but they were so tight and never would give (kind of like a lot of people we meet in the world). Then, I got plastic jade beads to usher in the new year. Then, I saw real jade beads for over $100. Yep, this was getting out of hand. I almost asked a girl during a toso (a group chanting session) where she got her super cool fuschia pink beads. And after at least 5 people came up to me during toso to bitch me out about how I chant, I was thinking of rubbing the the white parts of my beads in the dirt so it would look like I had been chanting forever and they would leave me alone.

-Weekend toso is not always a peaceful place. As mentioned before, I was accosted by at least 5 people about crossing my legs and swaying. It is NOT written anywhere that these things are unacceptable. From talking to others, it is Japanese tradition. Although many of the older Japanese old school ladies do both of these things. So, I used to think it was a control issue, too. But then I realized, it was really two other things. Most of these people think I am in my 20s and in the Young Women's Division, so they feel it's their duty to correct me. Also, I know it happened so I could deal with my fear or confrontation and speaking up for myself. Despite the fact that I'm a Leo, my roar can leave my body. Really.

-You don't have to like everyone in your group. You just need to respect them. There are 1 or 2 people in my chapter/district that I'm not fond of, at all. I felt as a Buddhist, I should like everyone. Sure, I made the effort, but couldn't deliver. I can just communicate with them via email and be nice when I see them. For now, that's all the effort I can make.

-You have to get rid of your bad karma before good things can come. I had some bad shit happen to me (I didn't get arrested or hit by a bus, like some of my friends) and 2008 was a really rough year. It made me want to quit chanting, but I kept on going and things have drastically improved. One day my happiness will be unshakable.

-Don't let the turkeys get you down. No matter how much people screw with you and the shit goes down. Keep practicing. You might not get everything you chant (or pray) for, but you will see inconspicuous benefits and feel much better inside.

-It is hard to get up and chant a half hour every morning. And sometimes, I just want to go to sleep and skip chanting. I feel guilty, but then I think of the 150+ hours I chanted in the last 6 months of last year. That's 500,000 diamokus (nam myoho renge kyo). This year, I will get AT LEAST a million if not two million. Woo hoo.

-I also went through this thing of learning how to ask for things correctly. Or so I thought. Apparently, you should just chant for it, like you're going to get it. You don't ask the gohozen. One night, I was drunk and yelled it. People have advised me a specific way to ask and it was only a strategy. I'm going to chant for what I want and go for it.

-And lastly, it is still hard to be patient driving and with people who annoy the f*ck out o me. But, I am getting better. And I know if I keep chanting, I will get there. I know these type of people and/or incidents appear in my life for a reason. Whether I like it or not. Like the new girl who started the other week at my contract job. The screaming child at Target. You get the idea. I got the chant, nam myoho renge kyo, tattooed on my arm to remind me of my mission and get people interested in Buddhism, so they can be happy, too.