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you know fonzie never wore cashmere, so i'm thinking this new A-Team movie is gonna catastrophic. it used to be you could tell a few jokes, fire off a few smoke bombs, maybe pop out of a sun roof or a giant birthday cake and shoot a grappling hook, and wrap it all up with a good shot to the tires that sent the bad guys through a fruit stand at incredible speed. really, it combined the two things that made America strong: gettin’ mad and breakin’ shit. only a commie would've said no to a show like that.

now this movie- you got oscar schindler playing hannibal, a bunch of no names - and, oh no big deal - we'll just break into the spy satellite, hijack a stealth fighter, maybe even do pilates on top of the thing like Bruce Willis in the last Die Hard, and not even have the common decency to consider Gary Coleman for "T".

i just know this thing's gonna suck air through a trache harder than land of the lost, and I can't wait.

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