Quote:

...I had the worst shitting experience that I ever had. On monday at work the salsa started to kick in and I had to go home to take a shit at around 12:00PM. I then returned back to work and had to go back home again at after 3PM to take another shit. I then returned back to work and left home for the day. In total I spent over 6 hours in the subway that day. In the evening I had more of the bathroom calls, and in the night I also went once. The next day I had to call in sick, and spent a lot of times in the bathroom.



Don't American office buildings have toilets? And if they do, why would you go home to take a shit?


Quote:

I was shitting chunks of pineapple mango salsa.



You might want to consider chewing your food before you swallow it.
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The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.