A+ Marley, you just killed it with that AC Cream cap. My peeves:

1) airlines that refuse to improve their flight attendant pool's attractiveness by making mullets and orange lipstick non-mandatory.

2) resorting to using my tears as lube while masturbating, under certain circumstances.

3) people that start out on XPT mellow, then one day a switch flips and their minds begin to race at warp 5, and they can't ever seem to reel it back in. i don't fault them, there must be something else at play. didn't the nazi's used to put something in the water?

4) cactus jumpers that accost me outside home depot and want to come home to help with whatever they think i've got goin on.

5) camryn manheim, because her tender touch has eluded me all these years. the physicality is supposedly unmatched.

6) tubs of goo like AC Cream and Swami that have ruined PW stalking on myspace for normal guys, thanks to their flop sweat years of heavy breathing and number begging, which has scared the girls into high alert like a pack of meerkats.