Twelve hearty alcoholics braved the Ohio winter storm's aftermath to attend our meeting tonight. The meeting was touched by the news that Tommy M., who had a heart attack a couple weeks ago, had died earlier this week. He was a colorful character who had 27 years sober when he died. He will be missed my many. Also, my good friend John C. celebrated 29 years of continuous sobriety. John was my sponsor's sponsor for many years, and we were both in a special Army intelligence command.

Step five - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

All of us at the meeting had done this step. Dave spoke first and hit the nail on the head, as he usually does, by describing the shame he felt, and how this step let him get rid of a lot of that. His sponsor told him to just do the step, write the stuff down and share it, and the healing would happen. Many of us said we learned in this step that we were just drunks, sharing with a trusted recovering sponsor helps, and often the sponsor can share part of their story to put things into perspective.

I grew up in VFW clubs with my dad, watching the old vets slowly drink themselves to death. There is something romantic about that, and something pulling me to drink over certain parts of my past. The process of inventory, and taking a look with God and myself, and verbalizing these things with Hank, voided the power of these memories to make me want to drink. It was after this step that the compulsion to drink was greatly diminished.

We carry the principle of step five with us, John spoke about how wonderful it is that we do this for each other, that among our fellowship it is expected that we will lend a patient ear, and give honest, considered feedback. This is how we deal with the problems life hands us, this is the basics of Alcoholics Anonymous, one alcoholic sharing with another.

It was pointed out by many that this is the step that made us feel a part of AA. We wanted this thing with, literally, the desperation of the doomed, and this gave us the feeling that we were going to make it. It was also shared by many that they took and hour or so break, as suggested in the Big Book, and then began to look towards step six.

The two women in the meeting both shared about finding someone to trust. As a man, I see the fear of being judged as the obstacle, and eventually I figured the idea of one drunk judging another was silly. But I agree with Hank, if you don't trust your sponsor to hear your fifth step, you have the wrong sponsor. It was discussed that other avenues are available, but in the Dayton community and Ohio in general, we share with sponsors. Clergy and others can help, and in parts of Canada a priest is the usual recipient. It is an honor to be chosen to hear a fifth step.

Bottom line, do it or drink, for almost all of us. And we all did this, and came out the other end better for it.

Next week, Tradition Two.

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy