Quote:

I tried to kiss her ass in private. It led nowhere.



seriously. like an idiot i once sent her a $100 starbucks giftcard, and nothing, never heard back. figured i'd get a bit more creative, rolled over for a 1-year papaya of the month club. that got me a phone number, no real name but a number, thought i'd play it cool and wait a few days to call. my mind flooded with possibilities. around 90 seconds later i began dialing, voicemail. dialed again, voicemail. on the third try she picked up, i said who i was, what I heard next could only be described as a cell phone being thrown from a moving car.

i'll degrade myself sharing this now because fuck her and i'm past it, i've resigned to the fact she's most comfortable doing the pursuing anyway, like a god damn viper, don't call us we'll call you. ultimately i miss the caveman days, it was easier just pulling the females in a cave and utilizing their best qualities, back before mace.

God gets his kicks watching us sweat like a priest in a whorehouse over things we really want and he'll never give us. I know this now.