Hell funny article from an Australian parody site....

AUSTRALIAN NEWS
Dick Smith makes a stand for Aussie porn

Australia's best-known Dick has decided to take on the big boys of international porn.
Dick Smith has hit out at domestic publishers and film producers, claiming Australian made pornography is falling behind the rest of the world.

The high-profile crusader for the promotion of Australian manufacturing said today that unless the federal government, industry leaders and the community got behind Australian smut, a culture of “porn dependence” would evolve, leaving Australians at the mercy of the powerhouses of international porn production, the US, Sweden and Norfolk Island.

“Look, I like good European hard-core as much as the next Aussie”, said Smith, “I mean who doesn't like seeing a chick sucking the cock that's been freshly removed from her own asshole, being pissed on or taking two fists in her cunt at once? But the fact remains that unless the government is prepared to allocate funds to the development of Australian talent and provide significant incentives to local industry, then within the space of a few years, international cartels will have the domestic market sewn up.”

According to Smith, the problem is not only faced by traditional publishers and video production houses. The information economy has created opportunities for the distribution of lewd material on an unprecedented scale and Australia’s ability to tap into this on-line market is likely to determine the strength and viability of local pornography well into the future.

Dick Smith has already successfully launched his own brands of Peanut Butter, Vegemite, bourbon and lederhosen, but claims that his new “Electric Dick” XXX label may well be the catalyst for a revival in what he recognises is becoming a tired “Buy Australian” campaign.
But he knows he cannot do it alone. “I’d like to see the introduction of something like the Australian Cricket Academy, where experienced professionals have the chance to spend time interacting with our future stars. We need to identify talent early on, preferably before the onset of puberty, so that it can be moulded, fostered and surgically enhanced.”

Whether or not Smith’s dire predictions for the future of Australian stick flicks will be heeded by a complacent Australian public remains to be seen.