Quote:

Caroline Munro in Starcrash





"This movie is completely insane. The plot makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, which is pretty much par for the course with Italian cheapies like this. The special effects are atrocious. The actors are completely at a loss as to how to act/react to the mess they are in and.... I loved it.

What else can one say about a film where the best performance is delivered by....David Hasselhoff? Scary but true. Not even the usually mesmerizing Marjo Gortner can do anything with the logic-defying lines of dialogue he is forced to utter. After 10 minutes I was laughing so hard I knew I'd found something...unique.

I very rarely venture down the road of "so bad its good" movies but STARCRASH is mind-boggling in its awfulness. Characters can tell the future but won't let anyone in on what is going to happen because its "...against the law." Christopher Plummer (looking as if he is very worried about being given the opportunity to act in anything else ever again) states at one point, " I wouldn't be the Emerperor of the Universe if I didn't have a few talents. Now, Imperial Spaceship--halt the flow of time!"

Joe Spinell, dressed like a dime-store Satan and dubbed by a man who sounds uncomfortably constipated, declares at one point, "By sundown I will be the most powerful man in the universe!" And you sit there and think, Sundown? You're in outer space, dude!

I could go on and on: There are jerky stop-motion monsters, psychedelic blobs of light that attack people for no explainable reason,a robot who begins the film speaking normally and then about 15 minutes in starts talking in a southern accent,Christmas tree lights masquerading as stars, a weapon called The Doom Machine and a central Non-performance from the ravishingly lovely but completely talentless Caroline Munro.

So, if you are looking for a rousing sci fi adventure with narrative coherence, decent special effects, worthwhile acting and competent technical craftsmanship, watch Star Wars; but if you're in the mood for an incomprehensible but colorful mish-mash of Ray Harryhausen movies, old Flash Gordon serials and just about everything else up to and including the kitchen sink, watch STARCRASH. You certainly won't forget it soon."
Source: IMDB

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tESwX3doaI

Mind you, This was released a year AFTER Star Wars.


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I'd rather be ignorant than stupid. Ignorance implies a lack of knowledge which is easily correctable through education. Stupidity implies an inability to learn. Therefore; ignorance is temporary, stupidity is forever!