My bff and I got invited to a boat party in Newport Beach. We're in Newport/HB area 3x/week. A boat with trance/house isn't our thing, but we figured why not, we're guest listed for free and surely there will be plenty of sex-on-a-stick trash with huge implants for us to fuck with. And maybe fuck. But fucking WITH is more exciting to us- individually and collectively. Furthermore, figure in the possibility of hot surfer dudes there. NOPE. NEITHER. This boat may have well docked in the sewer of West Covina. Lots of dumpy hags, back fat, and what's up with dudes wearing bandanas under fedoras? Vodka was the only thing that kept us from throwing ourselves overboard. Lots. Of. Vodka. We even bought more once we ran out of the vodka in my purse.