HAH. The monitor is about 15 years old and I got it from salvage. The dirt does not come off. Since it doesn't seem to have any effect on the visibility of the screen it's not a huge concern for me but if you have any tips of getting a decade of tobacco stains out of plastic I would be happy to hear them.



EDIT: you can see around the DELL logo where I hit it with steel wool. No dice.

And as far as the bacteria, licking it clean didn't work but I suffered no ill effects.