I was minding my own business at the local watering hole last night when a milfy type sits down at the bar beside me. She starts talking to me, about all sorts of stuff. I think she was sprung as her bottom jaw seemed to grind side to side uncontrollably.

To cut to the chase somehow the conversation led her to say "God never made an ugly breast" and when I turned to look at her she had her shirt discretely pulled up over her right tit where only I could see it. About a minute later she says "let me have your hand" & when i put my hand on top of the bar she grabbed it and stuck it up her shirt on her tit. Weird to be sure.

Last weekend at the same place a young girl whom we've known a long time walks up to me and grabs my dick.

Luckily in both incidents no one else saw. I was drinking both times.