XPT Week #4510563344563318 in review:


nfscheats: I will lose my job if that card number is even attempted to be run in another state.
nfscheats: What can I offer you to remove it?
Ceara Lynch: $50
nfscheats: What??
nfscheats: I thought you would say like don't message me again or something.


Jew-Lover Progignere is a World War I deny-er with two daddies.
Gigi made her oral debut in NaughtyAmerica's unreleased "My Friend's Hot Under-Aged Sister".
Arab Muslims insist African Muslims can only blow up the back of the bus.
U.S. intervention in 1862 saves the British and French at the Dagu forts in China.
Influx of under-aged porn fans guaranteed by the introduction of the "Restricted to Adult" Label.
Monica Sweetheart is one Czech that is accepted everywhere.


nfscheats: Let's just forget this transaction happened. You refund it, and we are friends again.
Ceara Lynch: I was never your friend, dude.


Coochie Monster drops by to give himself justification for choking his dick off.
Even Conky's morphing of the Camera of Death can do nothing to ebb the inexorable growth of Sunny's butt.
Max Rhino adopts "The Church Tranny" as his avatar.
We learned that someone named Stephanie Draheim is covered in bad tattoos.
Jamesn is so babefest.
The Endangered Species Lake Erie Watersnakes are not poisonous.
Gigi's son dressed up as Max Hardcore for Halloween. Or something.
Mad. Strange. Esoteric. No one's like Loopnode. No one.


"My daughter is Holly Randall, and she's after my job."
"Yeesh, I might as well just had 'meth head' stamped on my forehead."
"Oh, sweetie. Wrong purse. Those were Xanex."
"When did you lose your balls, Bill?"
"I am shaking right now because I hate horses so much!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I'm rubbing my hands together and laughing cruelly right now."
"Anymore unsolicited/unnecisary [sic] lawyerspeak will be considered spam. Of course, this does not apply to me."


nfscheats: Do you want to at least want to watch me jerk off?
Ceara Lynch: HAHAHHAHAHA
nfscheats: While I pretend my cock is inside your little 20 year old pussy.
Ceara Lynch: 4510563344563318
nfscheats: OMG
nfscheats: Not this again.
nfscheats: I was just getting in the mood!!!! GOD DAMNIT


Holly: Sometimes I step back and realize how weird that must sound to other people, but for me it's totally normal. It makes perfect sense for me to be watching porn with my Dad, or to talk to my Mom over whether a woman was faking her orgasms or not.


Conky authors the definitive text on the field of Suitcase Pimpdom.
Roxy Jezel espechailly loves Max.
Allie Sin started her Florida porn career as a ward of the state of Michigan.
Miss Holly asks her fans to remember to brush their teeth & tongue.
There's a series called "Crack Addicts" that always makes Ceara giggle.
"Tee Hee" - Ceara
IMPORTANT: Masturbate BEFORE you leave the house.
Sierra Sinn hangs up her Blockbuster card and calls it a career.
My memory fades into the lonely, piss-soaked abyss of forgotten whores.


"I don't care about disease and so forth, I want to be a prostitute! PS, What about you?"
"I began experimenting with my diet in order to produce "digestible" cum for my girlfriend."
"Signs indicate that he doesn't take the cock."
"Looking as dazed and confused as Taylor Rain at a math test."
"I'd like to pluck off Nancy Grace's limbs one by one, laughing at her while she cries."


nfscheats: What did I do to deserve this treatment?
Ceara Lynch: Thinking with your dick.


LA/FAME awards more LAME than expected. Tera Patrick?!?!?!?
Have2CIt continues in his role as XPT's well-spring of compassion.
Da Burglar celebrates his 101st [sexagesimal] post in pictures.
I got to use the word sexagesimal in context on a porn board!!
If you show a horny Harvard-loving housewife shiny brand-new cookie sheets, she may pee and call it squirt.
Did You Know: The ancestors of the people who wrote the Kama Sutra ban sex toys.
A struggling sinner forms a bond with a fellow "Hector the Donkey" enthusiast.
Bornyo will view your clips after he gets his broadband back.
Fuck the Christians.


Ceara Lynch: Wow, did I make you cry and everything?
nfscheats: Close enough to it.
nfscheats: In words.
Ceara Lynch: Too funny.


"Say it without Graemlins, you Gallic Goufus!!!"
"I'm not an attention-whore or on tweak, so who knows."
"Whores who do drugs 24/7 all eventually melt down. It's what they do."


"I'm trying to say your wife doesn't like having sex with you. I'd make more subtle jokes about it, but you seem too thick-headed to get it."



Yes, Mr. Bush, this All-American sweetheart is a pornographer.



"I like the hardcore balls slapping against the ass kind of stuff, you know." - The Lady in Red


If you missed the Randalls in "The Secret Lives of Women" on the We network, it re-airs tomorrow 6/26 at 11PM and again at 3AM that evening.

Hear Suze query:
"Are you hot for anal, darling?"




"The future is here. And, it's not an iPhone. It's a big-ass table.
TAKE THAT APPLE!!"





4510563344563318!!