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BTW, I've got a party to go to at 8:00, so hurry up with your ravings. I'd like closure to this before then.

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8:45: Phlog arrives at party.
8:50: Phlog wonders why so many people are leaving.
8:55: Phlog mixes "cocktails" from abandoned drinks.
9:00: Phlog commandeers TV and selects "A Nashville New Year with Sean Hannity." (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,239224,00.html)
9:05: Phlog talks up 200-pound chick with XPT exploits.
9:10: Party host asks Phlog to leave.
9:15: Party host asks Phlog to leave.
9:20: Party host asks Phlog to leave.
9:25-10:00: Phlog is in bathroom, wishing he took Imodium AD before leaving home.
10:05: Phlog is in bathroom searching shower drain for public hair to add to collection.
10:10: Party host asks Phlog to leave.
10:15: Party host asks Phlog to leave.
10:20: Party host realizes secret of Phlog's "cocktails" and cleans up, discarding abandoned drinks.
10:25: Phlog loudly announces that he has another party to go to and leaves.
10:30-11:00: Various brown-skinned motorists are yelled at by Phlog if they have a green card and/or they are terrorists and/or they've ever made love to a goat.
11:00-11:20: Phlog is in bathroom, searching for his Imodium AD.
11:21: Phlog begins shower to clean up a non-Imodium AD regimen-related mishap.
11:22-12:16: Phlog passes out in shower.
12:17: Phlog is awakened by neighbor's fireworks.
12:18-12:20: Phlog yells at neighbors and asks them if they have a green card and/or they are terrorists and/or they've ever made love to a goat.
12:25: Phlog puts Pizza Rolls in microwave.
12:26-4:00 Phlog passes out on recliner.
4:01: Phlog rewarms Pizza Rolls in microwave.
4:02: Phlog eats Pizza Rolls and loudly exclaims "Happy New Year."

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