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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

why even bother
Current mood: disappointed

things are so fucking up and down lately. i don't know why i even bother. fuck it.

can't stand this sadness anymore. i'm 36 and it just won't end. everytime something good happens, something shitty follows it.

i just want peace. i want my friends to be happy.

i'm tired of all this fear and loathing. this nagging anxiety. this corporate country that makes us afraid, instead of inspired. this ridiculous politically correct lying we all take part in.

no one tells the truth. and if they do, they're thrown to the lions.

i want to feel love and compassion for the betrayers, but i can't. i know this is something i need to work on, but in LA it's so hard to keep up a consistent belief in the good of the whole. it seems to only be found in rare pockets. little bits of lint to lift up the common collective, which doesn't know it when it sees it. would rather dust it off. would rather not know how good it could all be if everyone just stopped being so selfish all the time.

we need to stop hurting each other just so we can continue with this intellectual dishonesty. this belief in false prophets. this sanctifying of that which is harmful to those who don't have the legs to stand up.

we have to stop hobbling those good intentions because they don't come wrapped in flashy packaging.

like in my business, where the boring and uninspired get off by being flashy and stale. or worse, disgusting and vile.

even the beast has a heart. but where is it? why did it go so faraway under thick, viscious skin.

why can't we see past that? into that which is meaningful. why do we shy away from the truth?

that inside all of us, beats a loving, giving heart that only wants connection. to grow stronger for being appreciated, and not scorned.

seems the outlaws are the only ones who really get it right. seems to me that they are the only ones willing to tell the truth.

i'm done with slick. remove one letter and it reveals itself. the illness of the shallow infects us all. because we buy it and resell it. and send our children to wars to enable it.

there is a deeper meaning to things. this reality is not the only one. we are all connected. we are all one.

so why do we feel so faraway?

my love is global. it's for all of you.

why don't you want it?

you who shudder to think.

Currently listening :
Ys
By Joanna Newsom
Release date: By 14 November, 2006


10:43 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

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Wow,just wow.