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Rummaging through my old old stuff in the loft above the house I grew up in...

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I call BULLSHIT! No way you climbed up into any loft.

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In addition to pissing standing up, I can also climb stairs with a little help, and if I am having a bad day, there is always the scoot on your ass method-push yourself up with your arms, one step at a time...remember I am very muscular. I also was an A student in the physical sciences and a pulley system is well within my capabilities.

truth is, I wasnt looking for old music, I was looking for a footlocker that has all my old High School papers and shit...I was looking for an editorial I wrote for the school newspaper where I advocated obliterating the Warsaw Pact with neutron bombs disguised as Magic Johnson autographed basketballs sent to the commie youth as a peace offering. After I published it (since I was editor) I was allowed to spend the rest of that semester studying at home under heavy sedation