Today I got a call from John Legend. He's the man who won the AIWA Women's Wrestling Championship. As a Rockabilly Rebel he admitted "I Itch Like A Son of A Bitch". I don't know how he got my number, neither did I ask him, I simply said "Sup Baby. What's shaking?"
His reply was equally street; he said "Nada. Chillin' here with a brew."
He talked a little bit about a car he bought and I think something about a Murder book he was reading for about 25 minutes until he told me the real reason he had called. Supposedly he saw some work I did for a German company about Child Traffiking and it "caught his attention". So he tracked me down... but how he got my number was never explained. I didn't understand what he said next because his accent became very heavy... I interrupted him and said my hamster was sick and I had to attend to it, but that was all lies... I have no hamster and I hate PETS.

Anyway- I ran into the kitchen and now I have a strict policy of NOT answering the phone. I even hate the sound of the ringer. My girlfriend had made a fruit salad and forced me to eat it. When I refused she jumped on me and pinned me down (she's an Aikido blackbelt) twisted my ankle and began chocking me. It's at this point when I resorted to the nerdy "resistance is futile" mode and ate the bloody fruits. I got hungry again so I got some mashed potatoes and broiled chicken I had left from last night and heated that baby up and grabbed a cold pepsi from the fridge.

It's now 5 minutes to 7pm. I've made 3 original tracks that I'm confident I'll keep. I've argued with 2 people and rejected nobody in invitations. I figure at around 8 I will start toasting the night away and by midnight I'll be pretty hammered. I'm plotting to go see Sparky but something tells me he's got a chick at his place and might see my presence as a cock block.

What's shaking with you?