sammura, the only thing that would make me hard is gluing your feet to the floor then hooking a small crane to your hoop earrings, starting it up and pulling the lever back. maybe you'd let me drill a hole through the top of your head and attach a hook, hooker. i'd kick in five grand extra, though your earlobes are as thick as steaks so your neck would go far before they'd tear.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"

Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits