Historically speaking, Buttman is nothing more than a tragedy. I used to respect the guy even though he was a little silly around asses. As time the crow flies it eventually led to his demise in these eyes b/c his stuff was da bomb back in the early 90’s. I used to think Evil Angel was a great studio w/ the coolest name. Now I hear the name and I cringe. No need to get into why. I honestly think Jules Jordan saved Evil Angel somehow. Joey Silvera looks like’s gonna sweat himself to death soon. John Leslie’s output still has some weird flare though I never watch it to get off, so I never watch it. Christophe Clark is a typically annoying European who makes typically annoying European porn. Belladonna has bad teeth. Justin Slayer makes shit porn. Nacho is a fag w/ the heart of a goat. Stanley Miranda is dead.
Basically at first, Buttman Comics presents Tales From The Crack immediately looked cool when I saw S. Clay Wilson’s insanity imitated by Horny Biker Sluts creator John Howard during the intro to this dvd. Yeah, it’s neat some genius thought John Howard should direct porn but turns out in theory only. I get it, guy is a comic book artist, so hey, let him direct something like a comic book cum to life. Brilliant logic. So, everything’s shot w/ a emphasis on how the frames might look in a comic. Conceptually it’s great, but as porn it’s merely pretentious. Sorry, I could never jerk off to a comic book even a perverted one like Horny Biker Sluts and I never thought Wonder Woman was hot enough to make me rub the groin genie lamp... maybe Zap. This flick is great to look at, but the purpose of porn should be making it easy for the lonely perverts club to wax poetic w/ blurry wrist geyser fist in full effect. Know what I’m sayin?
I think we all know who Haley Paige is and just how much I annoy everybody w/ my Haley whorship. Pour salt on my heart like to stop a slug and I’ll quit. Until then, you’ll have to deal with my sacred pool of drool. Ok? Haley plays a waitress taking out the trash to set things off. Looks it was shot on film if not my bad. Smokes her cigarette sexily in the back alley, butt zoinks Jayna Oso stalks in to seduce her into pleasures of sapphic sin. They indulge each other in lezzy dovey lickety splits until a well-hung Van Helsing-type played by Even Stone appears. The thing about the guy that I find admirable is that he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously and can actually get into character w/ a wacky tobacky zeal. So yeah, skewed angles on awkward anals packed w/ plenty of porkin grinds and behinds get banged up. It got me up but not off ... things go downhill like the Cyclone on Coney Island from there even w/ a cast of sluts that includes awesome Alicia Rhodes, Taylor “Lloyd Banks banged me like a white trick bitch†Rain and Shayna Knight whose looks are inconsistant like she’ll be amazing looking one time, then the next three times you see her you gasp “ghastly†out loud.
Belladonna is the perfect person to play a horny biker slut w/ those tats and gaps from hades. You won’t catch me watching her much, I promise. Don’t ask me why Tiffany Minx was cast for this. Shouldn’t she be working for the caterer, not workin on camera? There’ll be no jerking off to her in my household, so there’s no reason to watch her perform. Never liked her, never will, nothing personal. Roxy Jezel was a non-entity here. Now, I honestly gave this a chance and there’s no arguing about its aesthetic richness, but comics rarely translate well beyond pen and ink, so this could never live up to the Horny Biker Sluts on paper. Smutmutant Tips For Artists # 1: stay in your element. Don’t be an art fag. Not bad celluloid, but no stroke value here. Disc 2 is better not watched unless you want to see how Stag is now looking like the Paulie Walnuts of porn, not the once invincible Buttman who could leap big booties in a single bound.
www.evilangel.com
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