Rodney Moore's Goo Girls 9
Rodney Moore
Directed by Rodney Moore
Starring Felix Vicious, Michele Raven, Vantasia, Annie Body, Bisexual Britni, and Rodney Moore

They call him the King of Cream, this Rodney Moore. An unassuming-looking hipster doofus with comic flair and an oversized uncut cock, Mr. Moore specializes in the messiest facials imaginable, orgies of spit, sweat, and cum that have got be an absolute nightmare to clean up. He has trained all his hungry starlets in the fine art of choking on his dick, and watching the young, eager ingénues gag and drool as they gamely attempt to swallow him whole is all part of the fun. The Goo Girls series stitches together handfuls of short, cum-centric scenes that are so goddamn sloppy, you’ll want to wipe off your TV screen after you’re through. Unless you do that already.

All of the Goo Girls tapes have at least one outrageously inventive scene where the girls play with their food in ways that would have their mamas swallowing fistfuls of whatever mediaction was available, and this one is no exception. Matter of fact, it contains the single most over the top cum-eating scene I’ve ever watched. But that’s not even the best part.

The highlight of this tape is, without a doubt, opening scene “Jiggling Jogger”, starring Rodney and the amazing flame haired glamazon, Vantasia. It opens with Lady V jogging at a picturesque, sunlit park, in a skin-tight halter top and red short-shorts. I live next to the river and have spent hundreds of hours of my life loitering on park benches, watching the local talent bounce by, and I have still never been lucky enough to happen upon a scene like this. This could have been the whole tape, an entire hour or so of Rodney’s camera rubber balling behind her, desperately trying to keep up as she jogs along, a maddening vision of perfect flesh in motion, with only the sounds of birds chirping and Rodney gasping for breath to keep us company, and I would have been happy. This being an entirely wicked world, however, there is much more to come. And I do mean come .

Eventually Rodney, in the guise of a non-uniformed park ranger, stops the lovely redhead, informing her that she’s breaking some kinda law by running around dressed like that. If bein’ sexy’s a crime, baby, I don’t wanna be a citizen no more. Ol’ Rodney does his verbal dance on the bewildered Vantasia, telling her that she has to go back to his office to ‘pay her fine’. She blinks at him. “Ok”, she says. Now, forget the obvious physical allure of this sinfully beautiful woman- the big doe eyes, the crimson mane, the dodge-ball tits, the impossibly curvy flair of her hips, the perfectly round ass- for a minute, if you can. What’s really striking about this scene is the slightly dazed look on her face and the tranquilized pliancy of her reactions to the odd, fast-talking phony ranger. Either Vantasia is the greatest actress in porn, or she really has no idea she’s even in a movie. Her stilted line delivery, and the dreamy, narcotic way she performs throughout this scene, have to be seen to be believed. I think if Rodney handed her a fork and asked her to shove it into her eye she would have done it, without question. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think the guy fuckin’ hypnotized her into doing this scene. Anyway, he gets her back to his place-which looks nothing whatsoever like a park ranger’s office, of course- and then he bargains her clothes off. He wraps a dog-collar around her neck and gets her to bounce up and down topless. That shaves a few bucks off the fine. Then she gets down on her knees and slobbers on his bone for awhile. Another 50 bucks closer to freedom. You get the idea. He fucks her senseless- admittedly, she didn’t have very far to go- and then frosts her flawless features with his gunk. The he releases her back into the wild, like a sparrow with a mended wing. Will this teach her to dress more modestly in the future when she goes off for a jog? For our sake, I hope not. Vantasia is a new name to me, but I highly recommend you check out this scene, or any other that she’s done, for that matter. Somnolence porn- it’s whole new sick kick!

Speaking of sick, Goo Girls 9’s other showstopper follows. It’s called “Corn Fed Girl”. Feel free to take the title literally. The scene opens with two mock-podunks in overalls and straw hats and one dizzy dream of a farmer’s daughter in pigtails and cut-offs sitting on a couch, watching Hee-Haw. Keep in mind that everyone, including the black guy, are doing this whole scene in the thickest hillbilly drawl imaginable. Pigtail girl says she’s hungry, so the white hillbilly gets up to make her some vittles. Black hillbilly complains that his dick hurts, so the helpful chick sucks his dick for him, which apparently works wonders. Mr. white trash comes back, and now his dick hurts, too. Imagine that. The girl’s got her hands- and mouth- full now, dutifully easing her buddies’ pain with a gallon or so of spit and a magically delicious tongue. At some point, the cook splits for the kitchen, and comes back with a freshly boiled ear of corn and a hunk of brown bread. Pigtail girl stops sucking cock long enough to bite into the corn, but complains that it “needs butter”. She gets some butter, brothers and sisters, that’s for sure. Hillbilly number one jerks off into the brown bread, which she rubs into the corn. The she greedily starts eating the cum-slathered mess. “It’s the butter what makes it taste sa' good!” she chirps. She continues eating her protein enriched meal, until she demands “Need mo’ butter!” Hillbilly number two obliges her with another blast of nut cream on her bread. She finishes the corn, and then eats the fuckin’ bread. And she’s all smiles, the whole time.

I am still not sure if that’s the sickest, or the sexiest thing I have ever seen. Probably the sickest, but my perspective gets cloudier everyday. All I know is that I am a changed man for a having seen it. I don’t know how the corn girl, Michele Raven, will ever top herself after this scene, but if it’s any consolation, ‘Chele, just the sight of corn on the cob now gives me a raging hard-on. Thanks, I think.

There are other scenes in this crazed tape, of course, even a pizzaboy-gets-lucky bit that’s an obvious homage to the late 70’s/early 80’s golden age of hardcore, but it’ll take days, weeks, a lifetime, maybe, just to get past the buttered corn and Vantasia’s trance-fucking. Rodney Moore is, without question, a genius. An evil one, perhaps, but a genius nonetheless. File under “Supersex”, if you’re one to file things.
-Sleazegrinder

Yeah,Sleazester,I fully agree with you on Rodney Moore,for he does the type of gonzo porns that are very close to real life,with ladies that look like real,natural women(ranging from goreous to homely,with mostly real breasts)and does raw natural sex that always ends in really messy facial cum shots. The realism is what makes his porns so appealing to many folks,as well as his uncanny resemblance to Howard Stern(which explains the mustache and goatee that Rodney's been sporting for the last year-and-a-half now),which really does help him in keeping his name in porn longevity(for a sole male performer who undertakes the indenpendant route in filming,producing,directing,and performing in his porns).
And,of course,his large range of reportary Rodney Girls always does help to increase his appeal and success(my favorites being the likes of Caroline Pierce,Rubee Tuesday,Fawnna[Reynolds],and Rhiannon Bray,who are all really cool ladies to meet in person at his autograph booths).

Steve- Yeah, right on. Rodney's the tits. Dunno about how 'real'it is, though. If a chick slobbered quite that much on me, I'd think something went horribly wrong. And I don't think I coulda convinced any girlfriends to eat a cum sandwich, either. Maybe Boston's just too fuckin' uptight.