http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=8&u=/ap/20050106/ap_on_fe_st/wacky_warnings

I guess they don't watch much gonzo porn: "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."

Toilet Brush Warning Wins Consumer Award

Thu Jan 6, 7:31 AM ET

By DAVID N. GOODMAN, Associated Press Writer

DETROIT - The sign on the toilet brush says it best: "Do not use for personal hygiene."

That admonition was the winner of an anti-lawsuit group's contest for the wackiest consumer warning label of the year.

The sponsor, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, says the goal is "to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products."

The $500 first prize went to Ed Gyetvai, of Oldcastle, Ontario, who submitted the toilet-brush label. A $250 second prize went to Matt Johnson, of Naperville, Ill., for a label on a children's scooter that said, "This product moves when used."

A $100 third prize went to Ann Marie Taylor, of Camden, S.C., who submitted a warning from a digital thermometer that said, "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."

This year's contest coincides with a drive by President Bush and congressional Republicans to put caps and other limits on jury awards in liability cases.

"Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said group President Robert Dorigo Jones. "From the moment we raise our head in the morning off pillows that bear those famous Do Not Remove warnings, to when we drop back in bed at night, we are overwhelmed with warnings."

The leader of a group that opposes the campaign to limit lawsuits admits that while some warning labels may seem stupid, even dumb warnings can do good.

"There are many cases of warning labels saving lives," said Joanne Doroshow, executive director of the Center for Justice and Democracy in New York. "It's much better to be very cautious ... than to be afraid of being made fun of by a tort reform group."

The Wacky Warning Label Contest is in its eighth year

The sad thing is even with the labels idgits probably still try to sue for damages.Never underestimate the stupidity of humans

If you look at the back of the box of a slip -n- slide, it says something to the effect "Do not put abut a tree or any solid object." "Do not place on concrete or paved surfaces." Too bad they keep those on there. If people really do these things it's just Darwins theory put into action as far as I am concerned.

You should see all the warnings that come with a gun nowadays.

It's funny that AP filed that story under "Top Stories" and not under the "Weird and Unusual" catagory.

i'm still way too amused by the idea that families actually bought "lawn darts"

Why don't you bastards just break my rice bowl while you're at it?

About ten years ago, there were something like 44 safety requirements for a teddy bear sold in the United States, and six for guns. That's a separate issue than safety requirements, though, and I'm sure that's not even the case anymore since that genius decided that suing gun manufacturers was a profitable sideline.

Top 25 Warnings


Unknown Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.






Claymore Anti-Personal Mine
DO NOT EAT






Life saving device
This is NOT a life saving device!!!






Ansell Condoms
Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.






Trojan Condoms
Use for sex only - not to be eaten






Flying Goku
This label defies explanation. Take a look at the picture.






Various Computers
Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue






Mark and Spencer's Bread Pudding
Product will be hot after heating.






Kikkoman Soy Sauce
Warning: Refill only with Kikkoman.






7 Up
Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.






Swansea Institute of Higher Education, Wales, UK
A letter distributed to staff and students included the following message:

For safety reasons all staff and students are reminded that the taking of hot drinks out of the Refectory / fast food areas is strictly forbidden.

Several slipping accidents have already occurred as a result of liquid being spilt on the floor and the probability of someone suffering from a serious scalding accident whilst walking along busy corridors and getting into crowded lifts is high.

Your full cooperation in ensuring that you do not put yourself and others at risk is required.






Tesco Fruit Juice Carton
On bottom side: "Keep Upright".






Sainsburys Mineral Water
Suitable for vegetarians.






Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often






Volvic Natural Mineral Water
Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill.






Moet White Star Champagne
Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.






Highway 26, Idaho Falls, Idaho
Warning to tourists: don't laugh at the natives.






Unknown Location
The sign reads, "Ignore this sign".






Rim Drive, Durango, CO
Warning: Do Not Hit This Sign






Unknown Wheelbarrow
Do not use when temperature exceeds 140 Farenheit.






Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.






Windex
Do not spray in eyes.






Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. [Picture]






Unknown Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.






Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Thank god they have failed. When guns go down the tubes so will America.

Have you ever read all the labels on a step ladder? Saw a show on Discovery that stated over 60% of the cost of a ladder is for the product liability and labels.

Hell, so much for that. After today's ruling, you can hear the paperwork churning.

I'm back working today and heard bits and pieces of chatter about it. I don't know the details either but it sounds like this is the definition of opening the floodgates for liability for someone involved in the process of delivery to consumers.

I'm in court tomorrow, and I'll tell you who has a more powerful chi than the NRA: the cults. Anyone who thinks suing religions is fun should try it sometime. At least the Catholics, Protestants, etc have to conceal their deliberate evil acts. The smaller the group the more nasty they are.

A district court threw out a suit, and Kalifornia appeals court reinstated, and the Supreme declined to hear the appeal. I don't think any ruling or decision was issued; it simply failed to stop here.

The Scientology Nazis are amazingly attack-dog. I'm surprised they haven't seriously pissed off a federal judge and paid the price.

The Scientology Nazis supposedly have had dirt on people in high up places since the 70's. That might explain it.