I love Gag Factor. After a short look at Gag Factor 20, I feel compelled to post the following WARNING. Don't let this happen. Apologies to Don McLean.
To the tune of American Pie:
There may come, a time, you know,
When no one will remember,
'Bout that music, from Aurora Snow.
Because I know, if they get their chance,
Those Bible thumpers, with their rants,
Will change the laws, so we can't, watch our show.
The very last one, we'll watch her quiver,
With every stroke Mandingo delivers,
There won't be much life left,
She'll struggle for her last breath.
We'll all remember how she cried,
It's way too long, and too damn wide,
But he'll break something deep inside,
The day, a Gag whore, dies.
And we'll be singin'
(Refrain)
Bye, bye, porn that drained my balls dry,
Took the bus to the smut shop, there was nothing to buy.
That good ol' boy was typing Why? Why? Why?
Singing this will be the day porno dies,
Finally a Gag whore has died.
(End refrain)
If you film the acts of love,
Do you risk the wrath of God above?
'Cause their Bibles tell them so?
And do they believe, like rock and roll,
That porn will rot your immortal soul?
And can they teach their, little girl, not to blow?
Well, we know that the're in love with it,
'Cause we've seen 'em busted for the shit!
They stand up, and sing the blues,
When the truth comes out in the news.
I am a lonely, mid-aged ugly fuck,
With a wad of cash, hoping to get sucked,
But I know I'll be out of luck,
The day, a Gag whore, dies.
I'll be singing,
(Refrain)
For a few years, folks will make their own,
And share what's still left, out on loan,
But that's not how it's supposed to be.
When the zealot attacked the magazine king,
With tons of money, from the far right wing,
About a joke, that didn't really, mean a thing.
And bless the king, he stood his ground,
The First Amendment was still around,
The courtroom was adjourned,
The right verdict was returned.
Behind our favorite, red-haired tart,
The quartet practiced in the park,
But, all of this will fade to dark,
The day, a Gag whore, dies.
And we'll be singing,
(Refrain)
Helter Skelter, while I knelt her,
The boy downstairs was pitching a shelter,
Halfway there, and rising fast
Almost lost it, right in my pants,
I held it off, this was my big chance,
With a new one, who doesn't, know my past.
Now the air was filled with cheap perfume,
I was hoping to be thrusting soon,
I got all braced to dance,
Oh, but I never got the chance!
'Cause when I got a little, rough with the deal,
She'd heard the news, and started to squeal,
She said fellatio lost it's appeal,
The day, a Gag whore, died.
I was singing,
(Refrain)
We all wanted them fucked in the face,
Our generation, saw no disgrace,
And no use for them to talk again.
So come on,
Rick, be nimble, Thrust, be quick,
Scott, make 'em swallow your whole dick,
'Cause, throating is the pervert's favorite friend.
And things I'd see on my screen,
I'd flash back, to a Bliss(ful) scene,
No one this side of hell,
Could suck huge dicks as well.
And as we stroked our cocks, on through the night,
Never contemplating their plight,
We just ignored their breathless fright,
'Til the day, a Gag whore, died.
We started singing,
(Refrain)
I had a dream 'bout Ashley Blue,
And I told her what I'd like to do,
But she just laughed, and turned away.
I went down near the porno store,
Where I'd picked up hookers, years before,
But the man there, said the whole place, had turned gay.
And in the streets the perverts schemed,
Lovers fumbled, young men dreamed,
Saddest words ever spoken,
The Deep Throat bell was broken.
And the three great men who did the most,
Hardcore, Steward, and Harry Reems' ghost,
They'd do well to leave the West Coast,
The day, a Gag whore, dies.
They'll be singing,
(Refrain)
...Chuck, Vegetarian Fanboy
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