DP Virgins 12- DP Demons ( JM Productions )
Starring Kitty Marie, Paris, Cherie
Directed by Jeff Steward

If, like me, you watch this seriously fucked-up porn flick at 3 AM, you may wake up at the crack of whenever the next day, and wonder whether you have actually seen what you think you have, or whether it was all a maddening dream. Well, brothers and sisters, I am happy (?) to report that you are not going crazy. This film really is about green penis demons fucking blonde 19 year olds. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- God bless America.

DP Demons opens with the fully loaded, righteously curvalicious, plucky little neo-plumper Kitty Marie showing up at this Greg Dark lookin’ motherfucker’s rooming house and checking herself in, despite the fact that the patio table has a big red pentagram painted on it. “What’s this for?” Kitty innocently asks. “That…doesn’t concern you”, Mr. Dark tells her. “Oh. Ok”, she says, in her best submissive porn star voice. She settles into her room, rubbing her belly and smiling like a kid with candy. Later on pretty, wispy blonde Paris drops in to Kitty’s room to gossip. In the most awkward, stilted monologue imaginable, Paris recalls how just a few days ago, a roommate of hers was abducted by demons just a few doors down. Said demons had (demonic, I’m guessing) sex with her all night long. Then her friend just…disappeared. That’s not enough to make her want to leave or nothin’, but mebbe Kitty wants to lock her doors, just in case.

Cue the flashback to said roommate (lithe Brunette Cherie, who looks kinda like the smart chick on VIP), who’s writhing around on the patio-pentagram chanting gibberish and calling for Satan. In a puff of smoke, out of the bushes emerges…. Gwar .

Ok, maybe it’s not really Gwar, but perhaps their dimestore alligator man cousins, or something. The horny demon heads look like 8th grade paper mache versions of the devil in Legend , and their bodies are painted in green, yellow, and pink paint, and spackled with fake fur. You’d think this chick would be disappointed- she was calling for big daddy Satan, after all, and got these two lesser demon clowns- but she fucks them both anyway, in a surprisingly straight-faced scene. She gets fucked in the face, pussy and ass; then she gets double-demon dicked. The devil boys growl, the fog machine goes berserk, and she ends up with a face full of demon goo and an ass covered in grease paint. It’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely in the top ten.

The next morning, after a night of screaming and carrying-on, Kitty asks Gregory Peckery about what’s going on in this crazy house, He explains about the DP demons, gremlins from the other side who like to double-team girls so they may excite said chick’s ‘tween’ ( you now, ‘tween the ass and the pussy). Supposed to be the ultimate orgasm, he reckons. “But what if you don’t want to be double penetrated?” Kitty asks. “Well, then you have to conjure up an anti-tween spell”, he tells her. Ahem.

The next night, Paris and Kitty are attempting to do just that. Around a candle-lit pentagram, they start chanting. “DP demons from far below, stay away from our sweet holes”. Swear to Christ.

Does this work? Well, the fuckin’ movie would be over it if did. Paris is the next to get her Tween rocked by the Halloween horrors (who skip the body paint this time around- guess they had enough of that jazz earlier in the day). I tell you one thing- Paris looks great getting the ol’ anal piledriver, even if it is by a guy who looks like an extra from the plague scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail . Without missing a beat, the demons march right into Kitty’s room and get all Satanic with her nether regions, too. Kitty gets it a lot rougher, with some light choking and a few slaps in the chops, but hey- what do you expect from demons, cuddling?

DP Demons ends abruptly, simply because there’s nothing left to do after all the girls all get double-stuffed. I was kinda hoping for some apocalyptic denouement with fire, or maybe an avenging angel, or something. Maybe in the sequel.

This one may be more of a novelty item then a pure stroke flick, as the jagged prosthetic teeth and giant goat horns on the guys are petty fuckin’ distracting. The girls are all hot-a lot though, and watching the super-foxy Paris get porked is always worth the price of admission. Newcummer Kitty Marie is gonna be a world-class beauty someday, but JM Productions might wanna let their starlets ripen a little before plunging them into the stink, because the poor thing’s still got a face full of acne, which seriously diminishes the heat factor when she’s getting glazed in a full screen close-up. Still, as always, these crazy fuckers like to go the extra mile, and they most certainly do here. Demons!

-Sleazegrinder