Hey kids, sorry I have been gone for the past 10 days, but wouldnt ya know it, this fucking hurricane aims its wrath dead square into my new "second residence", poor Atlantic city! I mean, what theeeee fuck is going on here? What are the odds the biggest storm in history makes an unheard of WESTWARD turn directly into the east coast, and the CENTER of the fucking storm passes right over Burg's new Splooge-in-washed-up-models-who-are-still-hott-mouths pad? Fortunately my pad is on one of the higher floors in my building so I am not flooded or even damaged, but the rest of the city is a mess and the Casinos wont be running full blast for another week....plus, all the good whores I call from New York city and down in Baltimore and Washington D.C. already have a hard enough time finding my pad when the weather is nice and things are good, now I'll be lucky to get Blowjob service (with open mouth splooge shot and 45 second cumplay) 72 hours after I request it....and the people who lost everything think THEY have it BAD!

Anyhoo, when I read Gia Jerkins post about her love of opiates I got wood....I wonder if her new boyfriend makes her open her mouth and extend her tongue when her feeds her a Vicodin? I'd grab the back of her head, jerk off furiously and plop the pill onto her tongue as my splooge erupts onto it as well, only I'd give her the four pills she wants. I mean that with all respect and integrity baby g....

But yes, the awful Tylenol in Vicodin can fuck with your liver, especially if you are a girl and if you also drink regularly. It wont kill you outright, but it could eventually contribute to an Overdose in that your liver might become compromised enough to the point where it doesnt metabolize a dose of opiates fast enough, a dose that otherwise on previous days didnt cause you any problems. This is how Burg lost the love of his whore-infested life, Roxy from Las Vegas, back in 2004....her liver just quit....what a waste, she was supermodel hott, totally drug addled, and guzzled cum like it was oxygen and she had just held her breath for 2-1/2 minutes.

Do you xpt'ers all realize that the majority of porn starlets/whores have a drug of choice which allows them to do the filth you view and jerk off to daily? You do realize that, films like the one off to our left, "Make my Ass Pregnant" would not be possible if they didnt get their handful of xanax and oxy or vicodin? Once you accept that and come to terms with it, even EMBRACE IT, your jerk off experiences and fantasies about these female pillars of society will become ever more satisfying....trust me, I'm Burg, I know what I am talking about.

My bf does not like opiates or drugs of any sort at all. Then again, I don't share his love for Star Wars, so there ya go. To each his own. We have most things on common, but I don't think it's mandatory to be identical twins with your sig other.

If you have too much in common the relationship wont last, you'll end up in a constant state of bickering and boredom.

As long as you are servicey with your cum gobbling, and as long as he buys you regular, imaginative PRESENTS (they dont have to be pricey presents all the time, just a high level of UTILITY to enrich the baby g's life)....the relationship will remain solid. His avoidance of booze and druggy-drugs will help his splooge not taste jankity, making it even easier for you to be servicey....

seriously gia, have any of your classy whorefriends ever O.D.'d with a gentleman caller while being servicey by the hour? what was the drug and how was the situation resolved? I've been pretty lucky but I think thats because I choose my whores well and know my substances.

Cicciolina was great.

Holy balls, Da Burg is back!

Glad to see you are alive and the depravity vortex that resides between your ears is still spinning...

Add the drug Soma to that list. Very popular as a relaxer before anal scenes.

I never heard too much about Soma making the rounds for that. However, I am reminded of the time Holly Body fell asleep in doggie mid-scene with the guy's dick in her. They got August to replace her.

Pro Wrestlers were/are big on soma. Louie Spicolli OD'd on soma and wine. They all laugh at the seizures induced by it at high doses.

Wanker Wang always had Vics and Somas around for anal prep. Rigged 'em right up.

Wanker Wang was the man. I can't play Pac-Man without thinking of him. RIP my friend.

Well things are finally back to normal in ATlantic City....quality high-test premium whores are finally willing to venture down from NYC and Philadelphia to frolic in Burg's Condom-less Condominium (Blowjobs, not other holes). The Hurricane really took its toll....the whore demographic I prefer these days was practically wiped out by Sandy, consider:

I am into cum gobbling women aged 30-35 who are no longer able to work as strippers because they prefer sleeping and nodding out during all hours of the day because they are in love with little white lies composed of a substance that rhymes with "fOXY Ho Zone", or as Aunt Bea told Andy "OPIE ATE...some girl's pussy and now he smells like my Caserole." Burg targets those still-gorgeous girls who have not yet begun to lose their looks from their love of the poppy, but have begun to lose most everything else....they really are the best whores and offer the best value and experience. But Sandy really knocked them for a loop....many lost their connections, street supplies dried up due to disruptions in delivery and due to many doctors offices were closed for 1-2 weeks especially in Manhattan where many of these cum gobblers live; it was hell for these poor beautiful sperm burpers! I really felt for them and my heart and nuts ached, literally. None of my favorite sluts were willing, or physically able for that matter, to journey down to my Burg pad....

So now I am making up for lost time....everyone is familiar with how speed dating works? you run around a room from table to table and talk with 20 chicks for 5 minutes at a time.....well what I've recently done is: I outcalled for 5 or 6 "Swing Out Sisters" (more like "Strung out sisters" but I liked that 80s music group) and had them stationed at various spots and rooms in my condo, each girl sitting or laying down with her mouth open waiting.....I wheel frantically from orifice to orifice trying to determine which of the girls looks hottest with my dick in her mouth (looking for the girl with the greatest "Gia-esque" gobbling factor). I splooge in the one who is the best, the hottest....

I'm running out of ways to entertain myself and my whore friends. So long as they are zonked, though, they love my creative serio-comic debauchery.

Burg's Romance tip of the Fiscal Quarter: Guys, if your wife or Girlfriend (or Receptionist) wont do a certain sex act, like gargle your cum or eat it off your coffee table, get her hooked on Heroin (or Vicodin)! Voila, your needs are met. I'm Burg, I'm on your side

How about a Lazy Susan carouselle arrangement next time?

Dear Cyborg Berg,

I am assuming that you are getting your supply of "candy" from a cabal of doctors/personal physicians with a book prescriptions. How do you determine what whores and what amount of "dinner" they will receive from you? I can imagine you have an ever rotating stable of soulless whores. Are you having any unprotected sex with any of these whore?(maybe your best bottom bitch) A high % of Soulless Hill Billy Heroin "devotees" whores eventually start riding the dragon and score the realz shit. You must be checking for needle tracks often.