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#461444 - 12/18/09 05:34 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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But can you name the xpt poster in your pics?... I gave you a hint.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461446 - 12/18/09 05:43 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Hundred dollar bill... first name. 03
You fuck this up and I fly to hillbilly southern nowhere, kick in your door, fuck your wife and sister, and evacuate my bowels on your face.
Make it count...or don't, based on your sexual pref.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461447 - 12/18/09 05:46 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Gag Factor Guru
Porn Jesus
Registered: 07/15/05
Posts: 5290
Loc: Dayton
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Attachments
457562-ben.jpg (3 downloads)
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#461448 - 12/18/09 05:50 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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The only thing worse than the scenario I just described... is the fact that you now owe Charin One. Tough deal E.Y. Tough deal. 
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461449 - 12/18/09 05:54 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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#461450 - 12/18/09 06:00 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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The Cage, sunshine. Make it happen but be sure you ask Chuck
to let out your leash and leave the door open.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461453 - 12/18/09 06:26 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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lmao...
Way to piss off the Boss E.Y.... and fuck up my thread, cunt. I told you to gtfo.
Well done. 
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461455 - 12/18/09 06:41 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Avalon... you can't afford it so let me help you out..
Dash Family Holiday Portrait. Where is Reggie and why is Ryan in the pic?. That's all you, doll.
You can just credit Porn Jesus as the source on your site.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461460 - 12/18/09 07:47 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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The only two white guys are Bruce and Seacrest... Seacrest has no fucken business being there unless he's hittin the underage Dash. You can credit porn jesus with all that too, Darrah.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461462 - 12/18/09 07:52 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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^^ I see only one black guy. I'd have thought DASHes would be crawling with brothers the way blow is crawling with Ryan Knox.
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Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#461463 - 12/18/09 07:54 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Reggie Bush is not pictured... probably due to his lawyers advice.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461464 - 12/18/09 07:55 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 06/06/09
Posts: 1321
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Quote:
Reggie Bush is not pictured... probably due to his lawyers advice.
Why wouldn't he be allowed to be photographed with his girlfriend and her family? Or was this picture taken during their fake breakup/publicity stunt?
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#461466 - 12/18/09 08:22 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Matt Damon fan huh?.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461468 - 12/19/09 01:39 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 3703
Loc: Sleeping through my funeral
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Secret Grandpa (2:03:40 AM): i trot around on my leash, letting those silent dog farts
Secret Grandpa (2:03:58 AM): to stop movement would be death for you
rosarybuttbeads (2:04:07 AM): i dress you in a pink poodle sweater
rosarybuttbeads (2:04:31 AM): plotting your neutering
Secret Grandpa (2:04:36 AM): i chew on the sweater in effort to remove
rosarybuttbeads (2:04:51 AM): i piss in your bowl
Secret Grandpa (2:04:55 AM): more poop falls out my butt and onto the sweater
rosarybuttbeads (2:05:15 AM): and submerge you caricature of a human face in it
Secret Grandpa (2:05:20 AM): i take a drink and proceed to lick your face, but you love me too much to notice
rosarybuttbeads (2:05:43 AM): i leave your carcass in a walmart freezer
Secret Grandpa (2:05:44 AM): i wish i had a dog face
Secret Grandpa (2:06:00 AM): i poop in the freezer
rosarybuttbeads (2:06:36 AM): your mother pays me reparations
Secret Grandpa (2:06:45 AM): a little boy asks his mother if he can buy the frozen treats
rosarybuttbeads (2:06:45 AM): and tosses my salad
rosarybuttbeads (2:06:56 AM): while your junior high photos look on
rosarybuttbeads (2:07:16 AM): and you bastard spic daughter scurries in the crib
rosarybuttbeads (2:07:18 AM): i cum
Secret Grandpa (2:07:21 AM): i bored a plane with my stories of sawmills and buttermilk
Secret Grandpa (2:07:27 AM): a talking dog carcass
Secret Grandpa (2:07:47 AM): i lick up the cum because it looks taste
Secret Grandpa (2:08:01 AM): this just in: it's tasty
rosarybuttbeads (2:08:37 AM): this just in: i own you sow
rosarybuttbeads (2:08:39 AM): live it
rosarybuttbeads (2:08:42 AM): love it
rosarybuttbeads (2:08:47 AM): worship it
rosarybuttbeads (2:08:48 AM): sow
Secret Grandpa (2:09:04 AM): sounds like an ad for las vegas that was never made
Secret Grandpa (2:09:09 AM): because it'd be truly disturbing
Secret Grandpa (2:09:37 AM): live, love it, worship it, sow. Las Vegas
rosarybuttbeads (2:10:32 AM): what happens in your anus, stays in your anus
Secret Grandpa (2:10:50 AM): never poop it's a sin
rosarybuttbeads (2:10:59 AM): should i punch you in the gut so hard it inadvertently evacuates your bowels
Secret Grandpa (2:11:03 AM): catholic church motto
Secret Grandpa (2:11:32 AM): lol i thought you said owls, evaculate the owls! out of your butt!
rosarybuttbeads (2:12:04 AM): who? who? who?
rosarybuttbeads (2:12:06 AM): sow
rosarybuttbeads (2:12:09 AM): i kill
rosarybuttbeads (2:12:14 AM): i rape
rosarybuttbeads (2:12:16 AM): i love
Secret Grandpa (2:13:18 AM): the edible incredible egg
rosarybuttbeads (2:13:36 AM): lick my soles sow. i've trod many a bar floor for you shitbreath
rosarybuttbeads (2:13:46 AM): i bring you christmas
Secret Grandpa (2:14:36 AM): oops poop fell out of my butt again
Secret Grandpa (2:14:46 AM): if it was christmas it'd be green and red
Secret Grandpa (2:14:48 AM): no such luck
rosarybuttbeads (2:15:34 AM): i taste your pbr-flavored sideburns and coerce you back to your studio apartment
rosarybuttbeads (2:15:48 AM): we walk through the fog
rosarybuttbeads (2:15:53 AM): you stagger
rosarybuttbeads (2:16:03 AM): and mention weezer
rosarybuttbeads (2:16:14 AM): i punch your liver
Secret Grandpa (2:17:33 AM): hey, a studio apartment is quite an accomplsihment for a frozen dog, music taste be damned
rosarybuttbeads (2:18:15 AM): we mate
rosarybuttbeads (2:18:17 AM): you die
Secret Grandpa (2:19:16 AM): I fill a tennis ball with cottage cheese and squeeze it. Dave from bingo night frisks my buttocks and I let out a growl. Tonight we dine on owl meat.
rosarybuttbeads (2:22:31 AM): i drive you to moab, utah. i show you to your room inside best western. i punch you full force in the sternum and pull all your out and force you on a whitewater rafting tour the following day. i force our raft out of formation and rape you on the rocks in your dry, tight ass in front of the entire rafting group and subsequently shit down your windpipe and cast your naked, fannypack-clad corpse to the denizens of the colorado river
_________________________
Leave your mind open, receptive to the demons message.
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#461469 - 12/19/09 01:56 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 3703
Loc: Sleeping through my funeral
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Quote:
Matt Damon fan huh?.
>>>The other day me and Matt Damon went to the beach to throw around the football. Now one thing you should know about Matt Damon, is unless he's drinking he's very shy. We hadn't had anything to drink that day, so Matt Damon, he leaves his shirt on. This gorgeous girl comes up to him and says, "Hey handsome, wouldn't you enjoy the sun more if you took your shirt off ?" Well Matt Damon, he just doesn't realize that that sort of thing doesn't happen every day, so he just mumbles something about protection from damaging UV radiation and solar flares and says he's not the kind of guy who surfs on the hot rays of the sun like the aliens in that one episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and did she think that was a good episode ? Well I guess she hadn't seen it because she looked at him blankly and then walked away. Personally I thought it was a kind of stupid episode but Matt Damon doesn't need any alcohol to get rid of his shyness over punching me really hard, multiple times in the face and body and testicles.
So we're tossing the ol' pigskin around, you know, some straight up bro stuff. Nothing gay. And Matt gets this bright idea.
"Hey Ultimate, you like women right ?"
"Sure Matt Damon, I like women fine."
"I mean, you're always spending all your time rolling around with dudes, but, I mean, you're not that way, are you ?" Matt Damon held out his left arm and let his hand fall. "You know, like that ?" He used his other hand to point at his sagging hand. "You know. Homosexual ? You know how gays are always running around with their hands dangling" he waved his limp left hand, "like this ?"
"Honestly I haven't really seen that too often."
"No you know what I mean though. And they talk with a lithp and are always mincing ?"
"Well that's certainly the stereotype, but.."
"Well I don't have any time for that kind of bullshit '89." Matt Damon said. "So if you're that way, you know," shaking his left hand again, "that way, a Goddamned queer, well you just get out of here because I'm not playing football with any faggot."
"Geez Matt Damon, that seems like a kind of backward attitude," I said, but mostly under my breath because I didn't want Matt Damon to punch me in the testicles a bunch of times, as he has done in the past and surely wouldn't hesitate to do again. I have no problem with gays but I have even less problem with unpunched testicles.
"Huh ? You say something ?" Matt Damon asked, and pointed at his left hand, which had transformed from a gay stereotype to a very believable fist. "Didn't think so." he answered.
Anyways, so Matt Damon, he gets this bright idea.
"Go long Ultimo."
So I go for a run, my eye on the football the whole time, because if Matt Damon throws a deep ball and you drop it, well, I probably don't have to tell you what a testicle punching I'd be in for. It was almost out of reach, but I dove for it... and landed right in the middle of a group of girls having a picnic !
"Oh my, I'm sorry." I said, standing up, feeling embarrassed. If I'd only known how much more embarrassed I was about to feel, well maybe I wouldn't have gone to the beach that day.
So Matt Damon runs over and goes "Hey is this clown bugging you ? Did he ruin your picnic ?" and proceeds to give me the testicle punching of a lifetime. Let me tell you right now, I've had some testicle punchings in my day, some real doozies. But this was like someone put a nuclear warhead in Matt Damon's fist and told him my balls had been looking at his girl. Which they most certainly had not.
Long story short, Matt Damon, he impressed those girls so much with his groinpugilism that they invited him to stay for the picnic and he hasn't been shy around women since ! Naturally I'm of two minds about it-- on the one hand, I'm really happy my bro Matt Damon, he doesn't need to drink to feel confident around women. But then on the other hand, I wish he'd stop punching me in the balls every time he sees a hot woman. I don't think that's unreasonable, but try telling Matt Damon that. I probably don't have to tell you what a testicle punching you'd be in for if you tried<<<
_________________________
Leave your mind open, receptive to the demons message.
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#461470 - 12/19/09 09:37 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
So I'm thinking...
I'm in the mood for a XPT style fight. That pic only inspired me.
So I'm thinking if you weren’t such a boring and clueless dolt, you probably could get more takers. Work on that. As it stands someone would have to be under house arrest for a month, to be that bored.
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#461471 - 12/19/09 03:00 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Human Garbage
Registered: 04/02/09
Posts: 1541
Loc: Mississippi
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Hav2cit, You are waaaay too easy, my little wimp. But do you realize how stupid you are to respond to my post saying nobody will respond to my post, idiot.  Poor little hav2cit, go charge up your power chair and meet me on any thread, any time, my little grumpy munchkin. I can always count on the fact that you'll never learn.
_________________________
--Some of us look for The Way in opium and some in God, some of us in whiskey and some in love. It is all the same Way and it leads nowhither.
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#461472 - 12/21/09 03:15 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Pervert
Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 2141
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@ Cum Stains
you put a smile on my face. I know you like me.
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#461474 - 12/22/09 12:35 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 04/16/09
Posts: 3703
Loc: Sleeping through my funeral
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Just like your father
Just like your mother
What sort of example do you think you're setting?
Do you talk that way to your sister?
Does cunt talk that way to your sister?
So why'd you say that?
You know you can't get away with that
You know what's coming to you now, don't you?
Coming to cunt
I just can't believe you did that
You cunt, you fucking cunt
Who do you think you are?
Who the hell do you think you are?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
You stupid fucking cunt
Do you talk that way to your sister?
Would you talk that way to your momma? Eh?
Come on, cunt, do you talk that way to your momma?
Do you talk that way to your momma?
Didn't she teach you any manners?
Look at me and say you're sorry, cunt
Cunt says sorry
Cunt's gonna say sorry
You're nothing
Cunt's nothing
Zero
Just remind yourself
Remember you're fat
Remember you're stupid
Remember you're ugly
Just like your fucking mother
Just like your fucking father
Have you got a good view?
Fat, stupid and ugly
A fat, stupid, ugly cunt
Are you remembering that?
You fucking cunt
I really can't believe you did that
You vulgar, common, coarse piece of shit
Your hanging and sick wobbly meat flab
Flabby folds your flesh
You're a disgrace
You're a total disgrace
And where's your fucking decorum?
Yes, decorum, where is your fucking decorum?
Cunt's fucking decorum
You fucking cunt
Just like your fucking mother
And just like your fucking father
See that?
What's that over there?
Yes, cunt, that's a door
I just want you to look at the door
Now I'm a really positive person
But you don't know what can happen from day to day
As you think about it in your mind
If I walked out that fucking door
And the door closed
And as it closed
It slammed shut
And no matter what you did
No matter what you fucking did
You could not open the door
And you knew you could never look into my eyes again
Hear my voice again
Feel my touch again
You're right, you know
About that door
You really shouldn't think about it
A huge mistake to fucking think about
You don't have to think about the door
It makes you feel uncomfortable
Doesn't it?
I know it does
You don't have to feel like that
It's distressing
It's really distressing
A terrible thing happened
My friend was stabbed in the street
By some drunk
Dead before he arrived at the hospital
Wouldn't it be terrible?
Think about it
Even if you could get that door opened
And you were to search
You could never find me again
You will never be able to see me again
You will never be able to hear my voice again
Feel my touch again
You'll never be able
All that fun we had together
The great times we had together
The coast
The night-time
The hotel
The journey home
Even if you were to open that door
You would search but you could never find
You're nothing
Cunt's nothing
Zero
Just remind yourself
Remember you're fat
Remember you're stupid
Remember you're ugly
Fat, stupid and ugly
Just remember that
And also remember life's tragedies
Think about them
I still think about it
You see that door?
You see that door?
You see that door?
You see that door?
Cunt, do you see that fucking door?
_________________________
Leave your mind open, receptive to the demons message.
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#461479 - 12/22/09 02:33 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 2401
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I'll go with BDM and say Gia. Fat pervs don't have fanbois.
_________________________
"Guage once told me that there is nothing worse than eaten ass of a black dude thats been huffen drain cleaner the night befor." - delanoojos
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#461480 - 12/22/09 02:37 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Fatty seems lazy and may have never deleted anything...
I cleaned mine out once long ago for some reason. Probably after the first year I was here and all the pm's were either "who are you" or "fuck off" type deals.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461482 - 01/01/10 09:39 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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I have the best hangover EVER.. I got 2 vodka tonics in me and
they are hardly touching it.
Why would you care?...Cause I just checked my pms and one of
you sociopaths was kind enough to send me this....
Happy Fucken New Year... 
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461483 - 01/01/10 09:58 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 12/16/08
Posts: 2401
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That's fuckin tough. Wet spot on the bed, stretch marks, smear of blood on the belly that is still full of after birth. I'm going to attempt to drink away that image later tonight. UGH!
_________________________
"Guage once told me that there is nothing worse than eaten ass of a black dude thats been huffen drain cleaner the night befor." - delanoojos
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#461484 - 01/01/10 11:16 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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You people disgust me... There's no getting beyond this. Mopez... could I get b@ for this?.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461485 - 01/01/10 11:53 AM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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Ya'll should be ashamed of yourselves!! Goddamn that bitch is hideous but not as hideous as the rat pidgeon-esque fetus she's holding. *barfs* She probably lives in an attic somewhere in NY and only gets buckets of fish heads to eat. I'm willing to bet that Mark_J is the sociopath who sent this to Lou. Only he would send out something this fucked up. How's everyone doing today? Good, good? Good, I'm glad. 
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#461486 - 01/01/10 02:00 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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Feeling invigorated from a five mile hike in the snow and slush. Que honda, muchacha?
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#461487 - 01/01/10 03:31 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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I wonder if Elvis died getting a blumpkin?.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461489 - 01/01/10 03:47 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Wondering or getting?. We need to be clear on this.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461490 - 01/01/10 03:50 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/16/08
Posts: 4257
Loc: Counting Kisses
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You mean giving? Because I can't get one, sillybutt. That said, I meant wondering. We clear?
_________________________
"Nature already created the perfect dishwasher....its called a woman." - Fiend
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#461491 - 01/01/10 03:58 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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What would it be called if you did get one?. Is there a term?.
We may be breaking ground here. hmm.
And to answer your question... I'm pretty sure it's the first time I've communicated the thought but most likely not the first time I've thought it. My minds like a centrifuge and who knows what's in the mix.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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#461492 - 01/01/10 04:16 PM
Re: So i'm thinking.....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
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... that this year sucks big time, so far. I need a new refrigerator, a new windshield for my car and (almost) a new computer.
FUCK 2010!
_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.
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