Come on guys,we've all been there.You haven't been laid for a week or so,maybe you've had a drink(maybe not),and it starts..YOUR PENIS BEGINS DISPENSING ADVICE..
It can be harmless enough,"Hey why don't we call up that fat chick from the P.T.A. who slipped us her number on parent/teacher night?" Or it can get ugly,i.e. Charles Barkley's drunken blow-job cruise or Closet-faggot Chris Brown being conned by his dick into believing-"hey if you beat Rhianna about her head and face she will look more manly,then we can take her from behind and satisfy our homo-erotic urges!" My own penis is no better.. Sure it has been kind enough to bring some money into the house, but it also played more than a small part in my decision to get married some years back
So tally up the pluses and the minuses and speak up..
Is your penis your friend or foe? and why? Please feel free to share any watershed moments in your relationship with the peni in question..

Yeah, your ex had one of those hippie dream catcher things hung up. In your own home, Bish! Your penis must have been in some hard times.

It's definitely my friend, however it has a very bad sense of judgement.

My Penis is my best friend. Unfortunately it's one of those obnoxious friends who thinks nothing of pushing you out of a moving car or shaving your eyebrows after you pass out.

I'd have to say that my penis is my friend that dispenses good advice like "Hey that girl has big tits but damn look at that face, if we do this, that face will haunt you long after I retire." You know sensible shit like that.

My clit has once said, "Lots of people meet on craigslist and so what if he wears skinny jeans and black eyeliner."

^
You coulda got matching Gucci bags.

Best friend unless it has a runny nose or acne !

Penis is your friend but like any friend you might have to smack him around a bit to get him right

My penis is pretty much my friend, but it has betrayed me more times than I would care to admit.

It just stands there looking up at me after it stabs me in the back.

Best thread title of 09 Bish.. lol

Definitely Best Friend. Who needs self confidence or even self respect when lil man is on the job?. He'll order drinks, tell a few jokes, throw out compliments. etc..

Then I got married. I still like the way he thinks but unfortunately can't afford to listen to him anymore.

This could have been my first post here.

My Penis is responsible for any success and wealth and achievement in my life.

-- Burg is fucked at birth

-- Assuming Burg lives long enough, the only way his penis will find it's way into the mouth or holes of any halfway decent looking chick is if Burg has $$Cash$$ (or drugs whic essentially means $$$) to offer such chicks...

-- Burg thus studies his crippled ass off as a youngling while still experiencing enough of life before age 18 to be able to converse with and negotiate with worldly nurses, whores and the Elizabeth "Slurpie" Wurtzels he first encounters when he enters the Holy Hallowed halls of Harvard.

The rest is Penis History....my Penis is now enjoying a semi retired life that has been slightly upstaged by the fucktards of the financial world, like Bernie Madoff, Angelo Mozillo and the "gang" at AIG Executive central....guys who all allowed their own Pathetic Penile urges to get the better of them and become so greedy as to commit Overkill in building Penis funds to pork Pretty women who demand $$ for penis servicing. Stupid fucks....


Of course, apart from my lower legs, all my life I have been at least moderately cute enough so that, not often but often enough, some chick wants my penis and its contents, no questions or $$ asked.


Still, I owe my Intellect to my Penis.

There has to be an educational plan for president obama somewhere in my inspirational Penis story.


I think baby Gia Jerkins should do a public service message for guys, interspersed with her cum gobbling scenes, that says "Boys, if you want to be able to afford to do this, then study study study...." That would be hott.


What sucks is if I had first seen Gia gobble when I was 16 or 17 instead of 36 or 37, I'd be a fucking BILLIONAIRE....

My cock is my friend. It's gotten me in some trouble over the years, but then again, what friend hasn't?

Mine lies to me. Constantly.

Your penis. Friend.

^ That's good to know....I think !

He's a backstabber, but very selective.

I totally know selective. It's a bitch.