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#303126 - 02/23/08 07:00 AM
*~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 02/20/06
Posts: 720
Loc: "Mia mothafuckin ROSE" ... ind...
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so, just recently, I learned how to get myself off. Like, no penis... Its truly amazing. And now I can't fucking stop. I carry a vibrator in my damn purse. Long story short... here I am, having my coffee and checking my emails, when, I decide to diddle... :: horrible use of words forgive me, its been a while" I am looking at COUNTLESS clips! Creampie gang bangs, anal creampies, creampies on your mom creampies. " Obviously, my fav to watch" And NOTHING. I can't get off. I'm fucking frustrated. And then..... Low and behold... I find this sick fucking clip, of a horny guy fucking his couch cushion. B I N G O Under a minute, there I was.... a twitching pile of porn whore. Its the hottest thing I have ever seen. I am thinking maybe its how desperate he is? Or maybe he's not at all, and just likes the cushion..... the point here is... you can see his junk pulsing! :: DROOL :: good morning. :: sigh :: I bookmarked. the cushion fucking dude 
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?"B. hicks
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#303129 - 02/23/08 08:15 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 2362
Loc: St. Louis
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Congrats, Mia. You have been desensitized to regular sex. This is a strong indication that your soul has been completely destroyed. You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.
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"Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken."
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#303130 - 02/23/08 08:23 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 02/20/06
Posts: 720
Loc: "Mia mothafuckin ROSE" ... ind...
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Whats a soul?
And maybe you are ready for that shit, but I on the other hand, haven't done a scene in 6 months and I'll be damned if I start back up with beastiality.
:: ninja kick to your forehead::
/mental note/ no used furniture = good idea
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?"B. hicks
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#303131 - 02/23/08 08:27 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 2362
Loc: St. Louis
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Quote:
Whats a soul?
And maybe you are ready for that shit, but I on the other hand, haven't done a scene in 6 months and I'll be damned if I start back up with beastiality.
:: ninja kick to your forehead::
/mental note/ no used furniture = good idea
Not a scene in 6 months? Hmmm, I wonder how I failed to notice. Strange.
So, what have you been doing with your life for the last 6 months? How are you paying the rent and paying for that nice car you bought around a year ago? Or was that your sister's car? I can't really remember. It doesn't matter anyway.
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"Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken."
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#303133 - 02/23/08 08:31 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 3724
Loc: Paddling my canoe in the wild
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welcome back Mia - you're always interesting to read. I hope things are working out for you.
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You're all still alive?
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#303134 - 02/23/08 09:00 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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Quote:
And NOTHING. I can't get off. I'm fucking frustrated. And then..... Low and behold...
I find this sick fucking clip, of a horny guy fucking his couch cushion. B I N G O Under a minute, there I was.... a twitching pile of porn whore.
The clip doesn't do anything for me. But my girlfriend is cumming all over herself. Go figure!
I can hear her say: "twisted... how can you do that? ...intense... my arm is tired"
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#303136 - 02/23/08 11:26 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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I understand Mia... I have the same problem. My fantasies have become pretty sick, though they thankfully haven't advanced to the bestiality genre. I don't even bother watching porn anymore-- what I actually like is erotic stories. Try www.lit-erotica.com they've got some pretty good ones.
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I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#303138 - 02/23/08 12:16 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 5092
Loc:
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Quote:
Congrats, Mia. You have been desensitized to regular sex. This is a strong indication that your soul has been completely destroyed. You are now ready to co-star with Chessie Moore in a wide range of bestial flicks.
Chessie Moore does dogs? I thought she was just a big tit pornstar.
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Mild Mannered Minion
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I feel the pull on the rope, let me off at the rainbow
-Anyway, Genesis
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#303142 - 02/23/08 01:33 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
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Another story site: http://storiesonline.net/user/p_legal.htmlAs far as www.asstr.org/ is concerned its a repository of stories that have been posted to Alt.Sex.stories.* You can search the newsgroups themselves through Google to find the most current posted stories or installments of a series in "Google Groups". (Google groups is the discussion or text only groups on Usenet. There are no binary groups.) http://groups.google.com/groups/dir?lnk=nhpsfg&hl=en&q=alt.sex.stories&qt_s=Search+for+a+groupI recommend alt.sex.stories.moderated since it has the least amount of spam and the most actual content out of the groups although you do occasionally find a gem in the other groups if you shift through the fodder long enough or just get lucky.
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Fap, Fap, Fap
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#303143 - 02/23/08 02:02 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Mia, I totally understand. My fantasies have been reduced to really sick stuff or just getting off on some guy holding my hand in the mall. Welcome back, and great seeing you at Holly's Playgirl shoot that day.
K, just watched the couch cushion clip. Didn't get me off, but nice cock. I still understand. I have a thing for guys jerking off. Not those staged jack-off vids like male talent make when they need extra dough, but just a guy laying in bed on his back jerking off. And when they use their own spit for lube, goddamnnnnnn.
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#303148 - 02/23/08 03:32 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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#303154 - 02/23/08 07:23 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 353
Loc: Illinois, US, Earth,
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Quote:
doesn't really seem that odd - I fuck my couch all the time
The vagina couch! FTW! I completely forgot about that thing! I bet that couch has seen more rough-amateur pussy than Brandon Irons.
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#303156 - 02/23/08 10:15 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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Gia: Quote:
My fantasies have been reduced to [...] just getting off on some guy holding my hand in the mall.
Oooohhh, that's the sweetest thing I've ever read.
Mia, you wouldn't have any other good links that are unusual in a similarly perverse way - for my girlfriend?
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#303158 - 02/24/08 11:30 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 2362
Loc: St. Louis
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Quote:
I once read a story about a guy who was in a famous band who was trying different ways to get off on tour and he rolled up a moist towel, warmed it in the microwave then stuffed the towel in between the couch cushions to fuck it.
Wait until you stumble across desperate guys fucking produce like watermelons and cantalopes. You'll really get off on that.
Hadn't he heard of groupies?
_________________________
"Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken."
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#303159 - 02/25/08 12:41 AM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
doesn't really seem that odd - I fuck my couch all the time
Hmmm....it's a decent attempt, but not exactly anatomically correct. Where's the clitoris? I can't seem to find it... 
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#303161 - 03/06/08 03:52 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 1248
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#303164 - 03/10/08 07:55 PM
Re: *~*~ I'm one sick bitch.
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@
Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
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Faceblasted.. You should change your name to redchair.
Naimsayin?
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i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn
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