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#294313 - 01/10/08 03:56 PM
Cloverfield?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Ok what the heck kind of flick is this? I see giant monster via blair witch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f38JetJmb0MAnyone know anything about this movie?
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"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#294314 - 01/11/08 12:39 AM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 01/02/08
Posts: 104
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You just wrote all the info yourself.Wikipedia has more but its pretty useless other than the alleged cloverfield related myspace profiles it mentions.Sounds kind of interesting but not as interesting as the carver from Nip/Tuck having a myspace profile while he was on the show.They should have talked about it on the show though.I think theyre gonna continue the current season next week.
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#294316 - 01/17/08 12:18 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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Damn it, you people go see this flick tomorrow then come back and tell me what it is all about.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#294317 - 01/17/08 12:40 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Isn't Cloverfield what ESPN is cross-marketing with the "X Games" this winter?
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#294318 - 01/17/08 02:57 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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I don't know although oddly enough they keep saying in the ads- in spite of the rumors xgames is not canceled this year- very odd.
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#294320 - 01/18/08 02:40 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I am NOT a lobster. I am a Human Being.
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Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#294322 - 01/18/08 03:56 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
Quote:
Anyone know anything about this movie?
Yes, I watched it last night and it was completely and utterly retarded. Some kids go to a party and throw around a camera between them (a la Blair Witch Project), then some lobster attacks New York and they run around screaming.
Are there any swallowing scenes where the doomed young people decide to face death with dicks-a-spewing and chicks-a-gobbling? Do Vaginal Creampies ensue when, in the course of fucking, a young couple sees this "monster lobster with a irrational hatred of New Yak City" appear at the end of their street, and the couple decides that THEY dont need to practice safe sex anymore since they are about to be crushed, so the dude rips off the condom and frantically jacks off into his girl's vagina just as the giant Lobster tail clobbers their apartment complex?
Da Burg's Sample Dialogue for this movie:
(4 young dudes and 2 chicks atop a 15 story apartment building see the giant lobster appear at the end of the block, tearing up everything in its path)
<Chick #1> "Oh My god! Ahhhhh! What is that thing? We'll never get away from it!"
<Chick #2> "We are all going to die! *sob* Ahhhh my god! No! *more sobs*"
<Dude#1> "Wait girls I have an idea....here get down on your knees...Hey guys, come over here and drop your pants."
(Dudes 2, 3 and 4 crowd around the sniveling, crying girls now on their knees...all4 guys drop their pants and wave their dicks in front of the girls as the Monster makes its way down the street towards them, the sound of crushing cars and elderly people and children being eaten reverberating in the background. The 2 girls all of a sudden stop crying and are transfixed by the four penises now flopping in front of them. A blow bang ensues and it becomes a race to see if the 4 dudes can splooge into the mouths of the 2 formerly hysterical girls who are now giddy with cocksucking/sperm-anticipating delight.)
<Chick#1, rubbing her pussy while sucking 2 schlongs> "Oh wow this is so fucking hot! Sucking dick on the brink of death is a major turn on! I think I am going to cum.....mmmm *slurp*"
<Chick#2> "Lets swap cum before that supernatural beast smooshes us with its giant claws! Fuck yeah...mmmm *slurp slurp*"
(THE Monster Lobster obliterates the young oral sex performers just as Dudes 2 and 3 splooge into chick #1s mouth, a mixed scream of pleasure and terror brings the screen into a slow fade out...)
OR -Creampie alternative-
(A guy and a chick are fucking feverishly in a van...the monster appears in the distance and rampages towards them as the dude nears climax...except he is wearing a condom.)
<Girl> "Oh my god! That thing is coming right for us!"
<Guy, fucking while watching the monster approach> "Ugh...what should we do?!? I cant stop, I am about to cum!"
<Girl> "QUick, take the condom off! I want to feel your warm load spurting inside me as the teeth of that fucked up huge lobtser-like monster rip apart my flesh and render us into a thousand pieces!"
<Guy> "Ok." *rips condom off, sticks dick back in and 25 seconds later* "Ugh...ahhh." *Splooge*
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#294325 - 01/18/08 07:56 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 10/08/04
Posts: 106
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EVERYONE DIES AND THE MILITARY NUKES MANHATTAN. They die in this order: 1) Jason Hawk (Rob's brother) - dies on the Brooklyn Bridge when the monster attacks while everyone is trying to flee Manhattan, this happens about 20 minutes in. 2) Marlena - She gets bitten by one of the mini monsters in the tunnels and ends up exploding once they reach military help in the mall 3) HUD - Gets mauled by the monster right near the very end after the helicopter crash while getting PERFECT footage of the monster. 4+5) Rob and Beth - Supposedly get blown to pieces after the military imposes the HammerDown code and nukes the city. After identifying themselves on tape and embracing, telling each other they love each other. Quick note: Lily gets into a helicopter and is separated from Hud, Beth and Rob. It is not really known what happens to her. They don't show her helicopter wrecked. Quick note #2: If you stay for the end of the credits you hear static and "Help Us" inside the static. http://img532.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cloverfield059fu3.flvand... if you replay it backwards you hear something like "its still alive" and thats right here: http://boomp3.com/m/bd034dfca370THERE IS NO BACKSTORY INTO HOW THE MONSTER COMES TO BE! BUT IT DOES LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THIS: http://media.filmschoolrejects.com/images/cloverfieldmonsterart01.jpgand http://media.filmschoolrejects.com/images/cloverfieldmonsterart03.jpgThe little monsters look like the Uglies from Starship Troopers. The film doesn't really go into them either, except for the fact that they fall off the big monster a lot like barnacles. And they sound like someone nashing there teeth loudly. NYAH NYAH NYAH type sound.
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#294326 - 01/18/08 08:05 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/18/07
Posts: 318
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What Burg and his Burgness wrote seems fitting for some pornographic comedy feature.
You might want to check out director Jonathan Morgan´s Space Nuts from Wicked Pictures. While being an example of really bad pornography, the commentary track is quite funny. If you should actually watch it, go right for said commentary; do not waste three hours on the feature itself. Jonathan Morgan, Stormy Daniels and Randy Spears drink some alcoholic beverages and give some insight into the production.
Burg and his Burgness might consider forwarding some samples to them, the quality seems sufficient.
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#294329 - 01/18/08 11:17 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/08/08
Posts: 554
Loc: Wash D.C.
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My wife and I just saw this... I can't decide if I liked it or not. 
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"I don’t want to live in a world where a man won’t cum on my face."
-Holly Randall
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#294330 - 01/18/08 11:22 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 1326
Loc: Yosisterisawhore, CA
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I liked the flick. Glad I saw it before some total fucking jackoff ruined the movie by posting everything about it including the ending.
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If I wanted to hear a crazy cunt talk about her kids I would just go to a regular bar and talk to the single moms there instead. - Fiend
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#294331 - 01/19/08 07:51 AM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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I read a review that described the monster looking like the result of Pumpkinhead getting drunk and fucking a Predator.
Edited by the unknown pervert (01/19/08 07:51 AM)
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I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#294335 - 01/21/08 02:07 AM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
I love The Asylum.
Good call...home of the low-budget 'mockbuster'. 
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#294336 - 01/21/08 06:47 PM
Re: Cloverfield?
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 07/14/06
Posts: 775
Loc: Hollywood, CA
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