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We, at F**k Job Escorts would like to thank all of you who applied to work for us during our last hiring campaign.
We were so happy to talk to all of you while you were waiting patiently for your eviction notices to be received or your electricity to be turned off. We fully understand and feel completely responsible for all your misfortunes and are continuing to do whatever we can to substitute for all your years of treating your responsibilities as though they didn't exist.
We were also pleasantly surprised to find that almost 12% of all applicants had a significant other who contributed financially to your household. We still have the greatest respect for the other 88% of boyfriends who say "to hell with work, lets get another beer" We feel you!
To those of you who waited to the last day to call before MetroPCS shut you off and were unable to receive our return calls, please pawn your kids bicycle or your "Man's" X-Box, pay the $40 and give us a call. Nothing inspires us more than true desparation.
We are entering the Holiday Season and it is time to get a few more days of work in before the end of the year.
For every escort with F**k Job Escorts that goes 10 hours without a death in the family, boyfriend drama over drug money, and is able to find a charger for their cell phone prior to screwing up our call, we will pledge to match 50% of your boyfriends weekly paycheck in a cash donation to the Save-A-Ho Foundation.
Girls, its the end of the year and the kids want Barbie Dolls and GI Joes. If you worked for even two weeks in a row, someone might accuse you of being a decent parent.
Please send blurry pictures taken with your friends cellphone, along with a name and number for immediate attention.
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