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I’m Selling Lukeisback.com And Its Content
By LUKE IS BACK | Comments (0)

I’ve made at least $500 a week from it for the past three years.

Email lukeisback@gmail.com if you want to buy it.

Any writing I do on the porn industry from now on will be for publications with no porn advertising.

You can keep reading my non-porn work on lukeford.net.

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Any writing I do on the porn industry from now on will be for publications with no porn advertising.

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The part of Luke that wants to be a Jew will smell the opportunities...

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Ford told XBIZ that his decision was prompted by pressure from friends and his own need for change.

"I feel like my life is stuck in a rut and I need to shake things up and go in a new direction," Ford said. "I've been leaning this way for at least two years. I'm 41. Never been married. I am unlikely to marry a nice Jewish girl while I'm stuck in this porn rut."

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He's been sucking and feeding from this underbelly for years and seems addicted to self-loathing.

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I know. The only way he could sink any lower is if he <gasp> went into politics.

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"I'm 41. Never been married. I am unlikely to marry a nice Jewish girl while I'm stuck in this porn rut."

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What the hell good is a Ford-less website featuring primarily slapdash cut-and-paste articles? Say what you want about the guy, but it's his input (however minor it may be) that makes it the go-to site for porn-related news. Take him out of the equation and you basically have nothing.

And aren't his original star biographies still available on LukeFord.com? That can't be a major selling point, can it?

I don't get it? What exactly does he think he's selling? If you think about it, it's almost like he's selling XPT, considering most of his content is cribbed from here. Funny.

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What the hell good is a Ford-less website featuring primarily slapdash cut-and-paste articles?

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Luke sensed stiff competition from rivals...witness:

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That pic is fuckin' funny. Manstor is almost as short as Holly even with the Kiss platforms on.

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why is shell lubb using this picture for her banner on LIB? that's false advertising, damn it.

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"I'm going to take the best offer and learn the value of discretion for once in my life," Ford said.

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I have always enjoyed the 2nd string guy over there, Al Czervix. Good luck to him wherever he lands.

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Miss Randall has her own money and doesn't have to resort to exchanging time with her vagina for luke's site.

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Well Ja, of course she does. I guess I wasnt clear...my poke was at Luke and his penis-enhancement tilted desperation. And <BLEEP> doesnt necessarily mean Vag...He'd happily place his penis in such places as her pretty Prada Purse.

Sesame Street has been brought to you today by the letter P

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I have always enjoyed the 2nd string guy over there, Al Czervix. Good luck to him wherever he lands.

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I was hoping he was going to inherit LIB

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Well, Al has posted since Luke made the announcement, so who knows? Maybe Al bought it himself. It couldn't have gone for that much. Here's hoping, anyway.

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What's going to happen to the Camera of Death?

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...btw http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=978

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Miss Randall has her own money and doesn't have to resort to exchanging time with her vagina for luke's site.

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Why thank you for defending my honor, Miss Jordan!

Honestly I'm glad he's doing this-- I talked to him about it last night. I've been telling him to get out of the business since I met him, I was just wondering when he would finally get sick of being miserable. It appears he's actually going to get a REAL JOB now...

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xbiz link

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What good is he / will he be as an actual writer? Certainly whomever he writes for won't be accompanied by photos, I assume.

This statement is what I found to be ironic:

"I'm going to take the best offer and learn the value of discretion for once in my life," Ford said.

Grizz, give it a year or two, and I'll split the cost of a Private Eye with you, so this jerkoff Yid knows how it feels.

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It appears he's actually going to get a REAL JOB now...

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Okay, but do they have the stink of porn on them?

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if they do, paolo will probably get off on smelling them.

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do they have the stink of porn on them?

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October 24, 2007, 10:07 AM
I Want To Move To Israel
By Luke Ford | Comments (0)

I want to make a fresh start.

I call a friend Wednesday morning.

Friend: "You’re going to be coming out of the kosher Subway on Pico Blvd and we’re going to pull you into a van and take you to San Bernadino for three weeks of active deprogramming.

"Aliyah? What are you smoking?"

Luke: "I’d like to work on my Hebrew."

Friend: "That’s UCLA Extension. Seven to ten. You want me to sign you up? Go work for a jeweler downtown.

"You’d hate it in Israel. The majority of Israelis are not religious. You’d be with the nutters. Your love of porn would rekindle. The next thing you know it’ll be the song from Midnight Cowboy and you’re back on the plane.

"Come on. I’m the Ghost of Hanukkah Future.

"I can see you now with a beard down to your knees living in a settlement with an uzi putting stones on Baruch Goldstein’s grave. All supported by my tax dollars."

Luke: "I want to be an integrated person. I want to carry a gun. I want to shoot terrorists. I want to bring the moshiach."

Friend: "You and Ahmadinejad."

"You need to voluntarily commit yourself for 48 hours. It’s like a mental detox and then you’re free. ‘I want to work in an office park selling magazine subscriptions to save enough money to buy a one-way ticket to Israel to make aliyah to live in a settlement where I’ll never be accepted and forever suppress my healthy urge to download pornography.’"

Luke: "I want to live in Jerusalem."

Friend: "You’re close enough to Jerusalem. You live amongst the Orthodox."

Luke: "You’ve never been to Israel. If you went, you’d believe."

Friend: "I’ve never been to Baghdad."

"You think that when you move into some settlement on the West Bank, uzi on your shoulders, beard down to your knees, all of a sudden you say to yourself, ‘Now would be a good time to listen to Air Supply.’ You click that on. You think Rabbi Goldstein isn’t going to smash that vinyl LP with extreme prejudice? He’s not going to want to hear that crap. ‘What is this, Levi?’ ‘It’s from my youth.’

"He’s going to smash it."

"The minute you go online, and it’s going to be dial-up, and download porn, it’s over. You’ll be caught and exiled. As you’re leaving, Palestinians will hurl stones at you."

"The Talmud, please? It’s all man-made. Find another rabbi in the Talmud who says porn is acceptable. ‘In 51 CE, Rabbi Yose Mendleson said that to celebrate the naked body openly and commercially is not a sin.’ You just need one Talmudic citation and find a rabbi who says, ‘We can probably stretch this to include porn.’

"And your rejoinder is, ‘I’m not doing any gay porn. It’s all straight.’ And you’re fine.

"This is something out of The Counterlife. You’re Philip Roth.

"I can read it now, ‘American blogger befriends Yigal Amir and I’ll read a quote from Adlerstein defending the correspondence. ‘Yigal Amir is a political prisoner and the correspondence with him is an attempt to let the rest of the world know that a hero lies in prison.’"

Luke: "Adlerstein believes the opposite. Stop slandering the rabbi."

Friend: "You should be running down Pico Blvd arms flailing screaming, ‘I’ve seen the future.’

"I’m offering you freedom and you want to remain a slave. I’m brandishing the key to your chains. You’re been imprisoned for so long that you don’t know what to do. You’re an Iraqi. You don’t know what to do with freedom so you start blowing stuff up.

"That van is going to die on the 101 as you try to drive to Calabassas every morning to some job in a boiler room where you’re going to sell magazine subscriptions. You’re going to be 300 pounds from eating snickers bars. And you’re going to be constantly hung up on… You’re going to have a cigar-chomping boss cursing you out for not making your quota.

"Forget the rabbis. They have congregations paying their salaries. You’ve got to eat.

"I’ll find you a nice Reform synagogue where everybody is in the same industry. Then you can connect! ‘Hey man, what do you do?’ ‘I’m uhh, I’m uhh, I’m in entertainment.’ ‘Really? What’s the name of your company?’ ‘Umm, Up The Ass Productions. It’s distribution.’

"You can wear the tallis still.

"This will be your most heavily trafficked post in the past month, notwithstanding your Eliot Stein post. Internet pioneer. Yeah, it was him and the crew at the Pentagon that created Arpanet. He had a celebrity column.

"He was the first person to teach high school history. Before then it was just known as social studies. He went to the California Department of Education and said, ‘I have an idea and we can put this in every high school in America.’"

Luke: "I’m going to sell religious artifacts. The Luke Ford Lulav."

"Where would the first Jewish suicide bomber go?"

Fred suggests:

1. Mecca (during the Hajj)
2. The Dome of the Rock
3. KPFA in Berkeley
4. Anyplace else in Berkeley
5. A Louis Farakhan gathering
6. Gaza

Chaim Amalek writes:

Such attempts at humor prove that just minutes detached from the world of porn, you have lost your way. What law firm will hire you on as a manretary now?

Maybe there is a hedge fund in LA run by guys who are really way into porn. And maybe one of them would be willing to hire you.

Now that you have "left" porn, how rooted are you to LA? If you really are leaving porn, why should you remain there? Living in NY (where there is no porn industry worthy of the name), the yetzer horah would have far fewer opportunities to lure you back into the fleshpots of Onan and, believe me, you would find it far far far easier to be a Jew - ANY sort of a Jew - living here than you do living there. You wouldn’t need a car, so you could ditch the van, and you could milk your legit media connections here in ways not possible there.

So why not give New York a shot?

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If Luke were to apply for a job in the writing/journalism field, would he be required by law to disclose that he was, in fact, sued for claiming someone fucked a dog?

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Your Moral Leader
By LUKE IS BACK | Comments (1)

Now I understand how Belladonna felt when faced with her desire to retire from this tawdry life. However, I cannot leave my flock. A good shepherd giveth his life for his sheep. I can see that my moral wisdom is still needed.

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He took down the "Sold" sign and posted another article. Once again he's lied to call attention to himself.

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Ahem...

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That pic is fuckin' funny. Manstor is almost as short as Holly even with the Kiss platforms on.

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Honestly I'm glad he's doing this-- I talked to him about it last night. I've been telling him to get out of the business since I met him, I was just wondering when he would finally get sick of being miserable. It appears he's actually going to get a REAL JOB now...

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Honestly I'm glad he's doing this-- I talked to him about it last night. I've been telling him to get out of the business since I met him, I was just wondering when he would finally get sick of being miserable. It appears he's actually going to get a REAL JOB now...

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It's SOOOOO wrong to laugh about Holly's post.

SOOOOO wrong.

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I talked to Luke earlier. He did sell the site. He told the buyer he didn't mind if he posted in his name or in his voice.

Luke won't be reading xpt anymore either, so you need to email him and ask for yourself.

I can understand buying the website, but not pretending to be Luke Ford. That's LAME. I don't know how long the purchaser thought the ruse would last, but apparently he forgot to ask Luke to play along.

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Luke Goes Postal Comments (0)

I’ve decided to abandon blogging on another site and go out into the world to get a real job.

I don’t make enough money off lukeford.net to live in the style to which I have become accustomed.

I bought a suit for $25 Monday at a Jewish charity store on Pico/La Cienega. I also took my undertaker suit and four dirty shirts in for dry cleaning.

This will be a whole new me. I’m sure the disco look will be great for job interviews.

I’m polishing my resume. Is it terribly immoral to drop Mickey Kaus’s name as a reference without getting his permission?

I haven’t had a real job in a decade (instead making my living as a blogger).

It’s not because my conscience is so delicate I don’t want to take money from immoral advertisers. I’m just tired of fighting my religious friends on this.

My Amalekite friends are dubious about my prospects.

Khunrum emails: "I agree with whoever said you were not gay or young enough to be anyone’s private secretary. Why not take my advice and be a mailman? Don’t laugh. You’ll ace the test and with your poor health they’ll have you sorting mail, not carrying it. It must be a great job. Just look at all the Afro Americans who do it….haaaaa! Great benefits too. You’ll be able to afford a new ride. Maybe even a bigger hovel."

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If I'm lying I'm dying. I haven't born false witness here in a long, long time.

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Being right all the time has it's own rewards.

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You have the honor of being my first XPT poster related sig!

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What Has Become of America’s Moral Fiber?
By LUKE IS BACK | Comments (3)

Dating back to the days of Reagan, Meese, and even Anthony Comstock, the United States government has been the dam that has held back the flow of moral depravity from porn profiteers. Are judges ruining everything...

What adjudicator will stop the madness?

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'almost as short'? neither Miss R. or myself are short. LOL anyone that has met me on the board can attest to my hight.

...even without the kiss boots

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Fayner Posts: I guess we can all rest easy in knowing that TheRealLukeFord's primary objective in the porn business is no longer to destroy it and every girl who has passed through its doors. He made that clear the other day when he announced his immediate departure from the blogging game, only to return less than a day later as if nothing had happened.

Funny, 'cause he announced that he was selling the site, then that he had sold the site and finally just took the whole post down about it when he changed his mind.

But what caused his abrupt return?

Does he need to support the secret child he just had with Missy Monroe?

Did his car - the one he lives in and parks outside porn chick's houses late at night - get impounded from too many tickets, and the only way to get it back is to keep writing - er, copy and pasting - stuff about porn people so that his advertising revenue (from porn companies) can be collected?

Probably not to either of these.

What we think happened is that over the years Luke has become so smitten with himself that when he "quit" and turned his back on the industry, he realized it's the only thing that gets him noticed as reporter, man and Jew.

And it's pretty much clear that the Jews don't want him. I know I don't. We are a resilient people, the Jews, and stand behind whatever we believe in. Luke, who calls himself a Jew, holds none of the convictions associated with the Hebrew faith. He is weak, owns no property, is easily phased by hatred and, in what is the worst trait ever for a Jewish person, fails to have the blood of the chosen people flowing through his veins. His announcement stated his sadness over his friends constantly questioning his faith because of what he chose as work, but any real Jew would have taken that as a challenge to move forward and defeat any obsticle. What did the faux-Jew do? He quit.

Simply, TheRealLukeFord loves himself so much that he can't ditch the industry because without us, he is nothing. Actually, he is nothing with or without the industry, but at least with it he has some power. Men need power to refuel. It's a fact.

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...it's pretty much clear that the Jews don't want him. I know I don't. We are a resilient people, the Jews, and stand behind whatever we believe in. Luke, who calls himself a Jew, holds none of the convictions associated with the Hebrew faith. He is weak, owns no property, is easily phased by hatred and, in what is the worst trait ever for a Jewish person, fails to have the blood of the chosen people flowing through his veins. His announcement stated his sadness over his friends constantly questioning his faith because of what he chose as work, but any real Jew would have taken that as a challenge to move forward and defeat any obsticle. What did the faux-Jew do? He quit.

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Good Lord, he's finally done it. Scientists said it couldn't be done. Theologians found nothing in their scriptures. But it has been done:

Luke has gone and made Fayner look like the better man.

Of course, it pretty much boils down to that "blood of the chosen people" business, because All the rest apply to Fayner as much as Luke: Lack of conviction; weakness and frailty, lack of property etc. etc... And I'd call Fayner's drug addiction vs. Luke's Chronic Fatigue and psychotropic medication a wash. Which leaves us with Fayner's birthright...

Think I'll fire up this computer and see if I can prove he was adopted.

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It seems Fayner is unaware of Bizarro Luke.




I wish they would both convert to Islam.

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For a good time call 416 920-2008.

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