a live one, not in a cage. i'm not sure i could.

I think they are kinda cute, I could





Now an aardvark, that's another story, whats the deal with those dudes, and why do they need two a's in their name anyway?

I had sex several times with 2 raccoon less than 10 ft from me. They lived in the attic directly over my bed when I lived on LI.

But, it wasn't in the same room.


I had sex with a pet ferret loose in a girlfriend's apartment in Bethlehem, PA near Moravian College. "Sid" didn't like me and bit me several times, but I don't recall being worried about him biting me while molesting his "mommy".

I'm in a drunken stupor right now, so please allow me to ramble on a little more about this subject.

I think this is a good example of the Men are from Mars Women from Venus theory, I bet you will find a complete different viewpoints for men and women, for instance, I bet chicks would have a horse or a lion something majestic watching them, while guys would like a dog or a pig; a dog being like your best friend who can watch you tag a slut, a pig being funny to watch after sex.

So here is my list of animals I could NOT have sex while they are in a room.

1) Horses or Donkeys - Ever see a horse cock, well no guy can live up to that requirement, but the real reason I would not want a horse or donkey there is I would bug my chick to have sex with it and that would piss her off.

2) Army Ants - having 1 billion of these crawling all over you just ain't that fun.

3) Hippos or Elephants - you know your wife will ask "am I that fat?" and being a dumbass you will respond yes, = no sex for another year!

4) Vultures - with some of the dead fish I have sex with the poor vulture would be too confused and continue to circle over my bed pissing me off.

5) Since humans are animals, Girl Scouts - who wants to tag a slut while a bunch of immature chicks point at you and giggle.. not fun dude!

6) Panda's - No guy can compete with something that cute!

7) Crickets - I had one of these little bastards in my room one time, made so much noise I tore apart the room for 3 hours until I found it and crushed it's puny body under my foot!

I'm getting dizzy now and need to puke

I think I found my new drinking buddy.

White Elephants are to be found in a lot of bedrooms.

id be disconcerted, id try to let it out the sliding glass door, barring that the chick would be to freaked out so i would retreat to the living room and type stuff on the internet while drinking.

I fucked some goth bitch and she had snakes. she kept trying to take them out of their tank and make me say that snakes on a plane line. bad times.

We've got two raccoons in the unfinished attic right now. They like to party in the alcove outside our masterbedroom window. They're very tame, almost to the point of being pets. So if they got into the bedroom yeah, I probably could.

True story, I was going at it Mish one morning long ago, when our cat started scratching at my feet (wanted b/fast). When I started turning around trying to swat at the cat, my gf said, "Yeah, now you're doing it right."

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy

This thread is a Monty Python skit.

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Only if there is cuddling after coitus.