When I first met Cristyl Caine, I thought she was just another pretty 18-year-old face. Then, upon getting to know her better, I realized that she was deeper than that. She was also a pretty pussy and ass. The fact that she swallows cum only made our 15 minute relationship all the more special. I will never forget Candy….I mean Cristyl. She taught me that a 39-year-old man and an 18-year-old man have very little in common. In the next few hours, my sperm will be pooped out of her Fort Knox-tight sphincter, floating into the Los Angeles sewer system like so much other wasted semen that practically clogs the toilets in Porn Valley.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best in the last line to the Great Gatsby: So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

I have no idea what that means but if one of the greatest American authors of the 20th century tells me to beat on, I will do so. I will beat on. I will beat off. I will cum in as many mouths as I can until we are borne back ceaselessly into the past. Or, until I pass out from exhaustion. Whatever.

Cristyl Caine: http://hidebehind.com/7B5A30

Never before seen-in-public tits: http://hidebehind.com/4402C3

Sweet teen feet: http://hidebehind.com/0CAB56

Doggie Howser, M.D. (Cristyl wouldn’t get the reference but perverts in their 30s would): http://hidebehind.com/CE4098

Cristyl throwing up gang signs: http://hidebehind.com/5F91BE

Textbook pussy shot for the gynocology students: http://hidebehind.com/96E92B

“Sir, did you say spread my toes or my legs?? I guess I could just do both to make you happy.” http://hidebehind.com/283A51

“My tongue is red from all the sugery candy I like to eat. I’ll try to pretend that your demon seed tastes just as sweet.” http://hidebehind.com/E9CF93

Meat head: http://hidebehind.com/B27826

Cristyl doing the 1,000 yard stare that most girls her age do when having their mouths poked with a stranger’s penis: http://hidebehind.com/7B20B9

She is a great new girl and a joy to meet. I hope she sticks with the business. Let’s all welcome this latest sweet treat who was born in August of 1989. You remember…right around the time you were renting armloads of crappy VHS porn from your local smut store, wishing there was a more compact medium like DVD. You didn’t even think about the blessed internet for jacking off. Tsk. Tsk. You silly man. Had you invested in Microsoft back then, you’d be my boss and own every xxx site out there. Sigh….

crystal caine is like the best porn name, ever. especially if her middle name is "mary jane."

She told me it was Tina. Strange.

In all seriousness Brandon, that was your best post ever on here. The girl is a cutie too.

I try. Building new bridges requires tearing down old ones....or just unloading something vile and sticky into a mouth that barely has all its adult teeth. The braces just came off and then -- BAM! -- cum hit her molars and was swimming towards a non-existent egg in the pit of her junk food filled belly.

Two observations here:

1) Crystal Caine. I'm waiting for a girl to be really ballsy and just name herself Crystal Meth. Seriously.

2) Is quoting Fitzgerald the new trend with male talent/directors? The Great Gatsby? Coincidental ref since Labor Day has ended and everyone's ferried back from The Hamptons returning to real life.

Hey...hey! Don't drag Kurt into this. I was playing on the "beat on" reference.

Very nice pussy with meaty lips, just the way I like them. While some might say a life of fucking young girls and shooting cum down their throats is shallow and pedantic (to quote P. Griffin), I feel that you, Brandon, are a lucky, lucky man. If I owned a hat, it would be off to you.

I am balding faster than a plucked chicken at a Tyson factory. Your hat would be appreciated.

alec james.... david joseph said that your grimy ways were the reason they kicked you out the family son.

The only thing that really surprises me here is Guapo's proper use of the verb form "were." Wassup wid dat?

We be boys, Guaps. I just thinkin' maybe you is slippin'. My bad.

Brandon where are Kelly Flame pics?

in her 2nd scene Dick Nasty make her do your covermyface's blowbang with 25 bukakke boys.

Poor girl, is sad watch a 18 yr white trash whore crying

Mr. Whip. You asked for the pics. Here they are...enjoy.

Covermyface.com fans rejoice! Cute teen slut Nikkie Flame offered up her Clearasiled mug for lots of hot cum recently. Did she like it? The jury is still out on that…

Nikkie Flame: http://hidebehind.com/C9233E

A face only any man could love: http://hidebehind.com/5A7464

Plucked chicken waiting for the foxes to arrive: http://hidebehind.com/E4B239

The good kind of bench-warmer: http://hidebehind.com/075485

Smell that teen asshole! When will man invent a scratch-and-sniff internet capability?!! http://hidebehind.com/76035F

Nikkie was kind of getting freaked out looking at some of the motley crue that assembled to give her face a makeover. Don’t trust this glued-on smile. http://hidebehind.com/E478C2

I can’t help but smile when I realize that Nikkie’s enthusiasm started to fade rapidly as she realized that in a few minutes, these dudes would be poking their cocks in her pie hole. http://hidebehind.com/22E380

2012, Nikkie’s 5 year High School reunion conversation:

Lisa, Nikkie’s friend: Hey gang! Did you see that photo of Nikkie with all those dicks around her face! Wow, those rumors about her must’ve been true! I’m glad my Dad bookmarks the blog at www.brandoniron.com.

Here it is….one for the yearbook. http://hidebehind.com/91925A

white trash whores




nice

I love everything about this girl, her looks that stare and that name. Bravo!

Brandon's back. What a relief. I never thought I'd type that.

I missed you, too, Conkybine. Let the good times roll.

jack_schitt: My head is lumpy and not a nice egg shape. I have numerous dents in my head from getting hit by purses, fists, and Webster dictionaries thrown out of third story windows by angry husbands as I scrambled down fire escapes. I cannot shave my noggin for now but have bought a Phil Spector wig that I will be using in the next 6 months.


Pornstarnetwork and Braincash is the same entity. That's just what they call their network.