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#247887 - 05/29/07 06:36 PM
Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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As a practicing Catholic, I swear on a stack of yarmukles that these are true.
1. Taryn Thomas missed the Tampa show last year because she had an e.coli infection.
2. Taryn Thomas is not a prostitute.
3. Nick Manning did a lot of damage with that Whiffle-ball-bat tantrum he threw.
4. Smelly Monkey was Jules Jordan.
5. Kid Vega$ is ready to make his comeback.
6. Skurt Lackwood only takes dildos in the ass for money.
7. So does Jack Lawrence.
8. David Stanley is 100% over being dumped by Ashley Blue.
9. Ashley Blue is making more cash now than when she was a JM contract whore.
10. Sierra Sinn has taken a crap on only one whore while doing her pissi...errr...squirting routine.
11. Brian "Plus 150" is Cytherea's baby's daddy.
12. Anyone cares about Harry Weiss' "you owe me" list.
13. Bridgette Kerkavoe would make a great mommy.
14. Brandon Iron s is herpes-free.
15. Whores tell the truth. 
Add on, bitchezzz....
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#247888 - 05/29/07 08:03 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
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Anyone who talks shit on a male porn-whore is just jealous that his or her life is so boring while the male talent is living life to its fullest.
Male talent make the fuck-scenes happen.
The porn industry is a magical happy place where everyone gets along with each other and enjoy good, clean, wild, disease-free love with each other. An exciting and smart career choice for any young woman looking to break into (and eventually take over) the entertainment industry.
Anything said about anyone in the industry on XPT is a lie, plain and simple.
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim
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#247889 - 05/29/07 08:06 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Wow Willie, what kind of leaf did you turn over?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#247890 - 05/30/07 02:36 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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20. Gene Ross gets all the porn news first and never rips it off unattributed.
21. Porn awards ceremonies are not rigged.
22. xxx.com was a great idea that wouldn't have led to censorship.
23. Jenna looks really good now she's dropped all that weight.
24. The adult industry is overflowing with creative genius.
25. Whores don't lie about something as serious as cancer.
26. Ryan Knox really enjoyed his reverse bukkake.
27. Porn performers never self-medicate to mask the symptoms of STDs.
28. The reason so few porn chicks post here is because we're mean to them, not because we confront them with their lies.
29. Nothing helps a DVD sell better than putting the male performer front and center.
30. A whore can never have too much plastic surgery.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#247891 - 05/30/07 03:26 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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31. Nothing is more erotic than HiDef close-ups of razor burn and zits on genitalia.
32. Kurt Lockwood is STRAIGHT.
33. Dr. Sharon Mitchell has earned and fully deserves her title.
34. Porn producers truly care about the ladies they make their living off.
35. NO porn star has EVER bounced a check.
36. Male talent is important to porn.
37. Sierra Sinn smokes ONLY the non-psychoactive variety of cannabis sativa.
38. Gia Jordan owns stock in McDonalds and exports trans-fats to Africa.
39. Gen Padova has loooooong sexy legs.
40. Bad boob jobs are HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
41. ADT is the most accurate source of information on the porn industry, and its moderators encourage open debate and frank discussions.
42. Sasha Grey is brilliant!
43. Squirt is actually SQUIRT!!!
44. No whore has EVER faked her death in hope of covering her tracks when leaving the industry.
45. Unprotected sex with untested trannies has NO AIDS risks.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#247892 - 05/30/07 03:45 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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46. The girls get off every single scene.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#247894 - 05/30/07 04:24 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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48. If you can get a girl in South Florida to get into your tinted window 16-passenger van, she'll agree to fuck your friend while you film it if you promise to get her some cash out of the ATM (since you have none on you) when it's over.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#247895 - 05/30/07 05:11 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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49. Max Hardcore is really a "sweetheart" to the bitches.
50. Tony Batman is talented.
51. Pamela Peaks is smokin' hot.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#247897 - 05/30/07 05:40 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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i like the use of bold type in this thread
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#247900 - 05/30/07 07:43 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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56. Porn chicks are good drivers.
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#247901 - 05/30/07 07:53 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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Quote:
56. Porn chicks are good drivers.
Dear King,
That's totally untrue.
Sincerely,
Julie Robbins
Savannah
Anna Malle
Cal Jammer
Linda Lovelace
Don Lemmon
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#247904 - 05/30/07 08:54 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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58. Kurt Lockwood is the next Eddie Van Halen
59. Taylor Rain makes generous donations to worthy causes such as the NAACP and the Los Angeles chapter of the Fraternal Order of Police.
60.Lori Lust gave up a promising career in copy editing for porn stardom.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#247908 - 05/31/07 10:36 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 01/27/07
Posts: 775
Loc: Snottsdale, Arizona
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63. Willie doesn't jack off to porn several times a day
64. Jamesn isn't angry at tranny's for his strong desire for penis.
_________________________
I love cock and balls.
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#247909 - 05/31/07 10:36 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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65. Ryan Knox's parents are proud of him.
66. Kendra Jade doesn't look like a cross between Beetlejuice and a Jack-o-latern.
67. Darth isn't a faggot alt id.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#247910 - 05/31/07 12:16 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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68. Trannies are universally loved. They offer invaluable insight wrt their plight, helping us to become better, more tolerant people.
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#247911 - 05/31/07 03:09 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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69. Semen tastes like pina colada, strawberries and cinnamon Danish all rolled in to one, and porn chicks love swallowing it or rubbing it into their eyes.
70. Digital Playground make excellent, high stroke value porn. Particularly 'Celeste' when she uses ridiculous music all the way through a flick.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#247912 - 05/31/07 07:05 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Porn whores make intelligent investments with their earnings.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#247914 - 06/01/07 12:21 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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72. All established and successful directors in straight porn have never fucked a tranny and never would.
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#247915 - 06/01/07 01:57 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
72. All established and successful directors in straight porn have never fucked a tranny and never would.
Oh, come on...haven't we bashed Lockwood enough over the previous month or so?
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#247917 - 06/01/07 09:01 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 01/31/06
Posts: 44
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Quote:
Quote:
72. All established and successful directors in straight porn have never fucked a tranny and never would.
Oh, come on...haven't we bashed Lockwood enough over the previous month or so?
No, it is never enough.  
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#247918 - 06/02/07 11:35 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Who ever said he was established and successful?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#247919 - 06/02/07 11:42 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Who ever said he was established and successful?
Or a Director? As far as I know, he hasen't directed so much as a Video for his "Band."
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#247920 - 06/02/07 01:32 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Not true, Jim. Skurt's got 5 directorial credits on IAFD.com and his Boogie Nights spoof will make it 6. I should know, I'm one of Kurt's Number One Fans. 
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#247923 - 06/02/07 03:09 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
Not true, Jim. Skurt's got 5 directorial credits on IAFD.com and his Boogie Nights spoof will make it 6.
I should know, I'm one of Kurt's Number One Fans.
Yet another reason for me to stay buzzed all the time. 
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#247924 - 06/02/07 03:10 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 52
Loc: New York
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74.Everything a reviewer says about a porn that they recently have reviewed as a good title is the truth
_________________________
May Your Dreams Be Wet and Wicked
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#247925 - 06/02/07 08:29 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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75. All awards are based purely on merit. Sexual favors and advertising money play no part in voting tabulations.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#247926 - 06/03/07 05:34 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 03/11/07
Posts: 451
Loc: Houston
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76. All reviewers at consortium websites watch their porn at regular speed, viewing all the extras. 77. Hidden agendas play no role in ratings by reviewers on any of the "popular" websites linked to online databases. 78. Directors send thoughtful emails proving their points beyond any doubt to reviewers on a consistent basis. 79. JM Productions is too softcore for ADT. 
_________________________
"I'm rich. I'm a strong, trained fighter. I own a gun. And I am completely...fucking ... psychotic." Kurt Lockwood ranting yet again
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#247927 - 06/03/07 05:56 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 537
Loc: Holly Randall's garden
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80. Cytherea will make a wonderful mother. 81. Only high end studios post on pornstarperformance.com. 82. Porn is the gateway to mainstream 83. Pamela Peaks looks just like Pamela Anderson 84. If you fuck a black guy with a condom, its not really doing IR. 
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#247928 - 06/03/07 10:01 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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Quote:
77. Hidden agendas play no role in ratings by reviewers on any of the "popular" websites linked to online databases.
Hey Don, is this a snipe @ IAFD? What gives?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#247929 - 06/03/07 10:45 AM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
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85. Male talent taking dildos up the ass is a great way to prove that they are not gay, but comfortable with their heterosexuality.
86. Only the people who make the really bad kind of porn have anything to worry about with being indicted on obscenity charges.
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim
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#247930 - 06/03/07 12:53 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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87) Having your star Male Talant take a swing at a Blogger is a GREAT way to gain publicity for your fledgeling production company.
88) You can be a Porn Producer your whole life, live to a ripe old age, and NEVER get a knock on your door from the DOJ.
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#247931 - 06/03/07 02:24 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 52
Loc: New York
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lol too funny
_________________________
May Your Dreams Be Wet and Wicked
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#247935 - 06/03/07 06:07 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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90. If it is on the cover, it is DEFINITELY on the DVD.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#247936 - 06/03/07 06:34 PM
Re: Absolute 100% Porn Truths
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Human Garbage
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 1557
Loc: New York
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91. If a grl has a contract for $1M, she will get paid $1M of course.
92. Performers' Websites are very profitable.
_________________________
"This thing is ready to do damage!"
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