Watch HBO's added episodes of Cathouse LATER this year. As part of a Governement funded pointless research project revolving around the sex industry, Ceara and I plan to cause Dennis Hof and the rest of the overweight bon-bon addicted whores of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch some serious heartburn using the following strategy.

Ceara pushes me into the waiting room/lineup area of the Bunny ranch...I am slumped in my wheelchair, my hands folded into between my legs, a bib tied to my neck, a small amount of drool oozing out of my half open mouth, and I stare off into left field with a vacant expression.

"Hi my name is Ceara and this is my Big Brother whom we all call Da Burglar. He is almost dead as you can see. I love my big brother very much so I want him to go out with a bang by fucking a hott professional whore, so that is what brings us here. Hold on one second..." <ceara wipes a big glob of saliva off my lower lip with the bib> " ...anyhow, I am going to help Burg find just the right whore from amongst you to fulfill his needs. Contrary to what you think you see right now, even though he is basically a vegetable, he can still fuck, so think of him as a giant zucchini....I just have to crush up this big blue pill the doctor gave me and dissolve it in water and give it to the girl we choose to administer to Burglar rectally 10 minutes before you bang him."

<From out of the dead silent, clearly stressed lineup we choose, Isabella Soprano, unless Sunny Lane happens to be pulling a shift...>

Ceara will do all the negotiating and explaining of what I need and how I want to be fucked. Remember, the Bunny Ranch whores and staff will be hearing all this sexual info and detail from my 'little sister' .... "Make sure you stroke his dick in a kinda circular, counter-clockwise motion, and say the words FARVIGNUGEN and VULVA a lot, he seems to respond to the way those words sound being elocuted from a soft female voice .... and dont touch his nipples, he shrieks when his nipples are touched...."

<awkward pause as Madam Suzette pages Dennis Hof, who is too busy looking for his lost Amoxicillin Prescription to combat this month's yellow drainage from his dick to care at the moment about some young chick setting her near-death brother up with Isabella Soprano>

"So how much wiil you charge my poor almost dead brother to fuck him? Money is actually no object but at the same time we dont want to be taken advantage of ... oh pardon me, I said "we"; I wont actually be on the bed with you two, but I will be nearby off to the side in the corner with this here Defibrillator I just learned how to use...dont worry, his doctor said after the first five minutes following the Viagra Enema, his chances of going into Cardiac Arrest are less than 35%. So really .... how much money?"

Their will either be Shock, outrage or laughter in the Bunny ranch that day...either way it should be a kick ass HBO episode.

The research goal of this fucked up spectacle? Just to show that the Bunny ranch will basically screw anything and anyone for the right amount of dough, and that Dennis Hof is secretly wanted by third world governments because he represents the short, fast route to acquiring a Biological Drug Resistant Weapon Capability. The man eats antibiotics like M&Ms ...