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#225900 - 02/28/07 01:40 PM Open letter to Jeff Steward
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
It's not my place to tell you how to run your pornography business but here's an idea I wanted to share:

Since Ashley Blue is no longer your contract whore I assume you're looking for a new one. Since porn is great at imitating pop culture trends, I think you should make your contract whore search go down this way:

Narrow your search down to four or five finalists and stage an American Idol type competition for the contract. Have each sing a song of their choice during a Gagfactor scene. Give them some felon-spunk and a frying pan and turn them loose in a kitchen. Ask each to verbally abuse a selection of random pornwhores. As the pornographer you are better at staging such scenarios than I am, but you get the drift.

Pick a few judges like AI has- a former porner like Gia Jordan, maybe a fat minority guy, and let Windsock be Simon. Set it up so they can make their catty and hateful remarks between performances and in general interact with the contestants.

After all the scenes are shot, interview each of the finalists individually, as if they were the winner. Ask them leading questions about the other girls like "What makes you more worthy of being JM's contract girl than the others?" "What was the worst performance you saw from the other girls?", etc. The object here is to have them rip the others to shreds.

Now- do not crown a winner because promise as they may, the whores would undoubtedly leak who was the winner. Do not announce the winner until all the editing is complete and you release the DVD. Let the new JM contract whore be announced in the DVD. Use all the loser interviews for BTS material.

Call this movie "American Inamorata" or some other more clever title someone will post in this thread.

Maybe we can help you come up with the list of finalists, too. I nominate Kimberly Kane.

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#225901 - 02/28/07 01:51 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
faceblaster Offline
Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus

Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5207
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
Quote:



Pick a few judges like AI has-




I posted this in a shanesworld thread elsewhere.
Simon is Dick Nasty
Paula is Renee Cruz or Daisy Marie
Randy is Lee Bang
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward


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#225902 - 02/28/07 01:53 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Quote:

Quote:



Pick a few judges like AI has-




I posted this in a shanesworld thread elsewhere.
Simon is Dick Nasty
Paula is Renee Cruz or Daisy Marie
Randy is Lee Bang




I don't see how you could pick a JM Contract whore without Simps input. The others I'm ambivalent about.

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#225903 - 02/28/07 05:37 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
J.B. Offline
Demon Spawn

Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 3073
Loc: cleanup
Quote:

Pick a few judges like AI has- a former porner like Gia Jordan, maybe a fat minority guy, and let Windsock be Simon.



What about Guapo. No, wait, you said minority. Sorry.
_________________________
"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp" -- HST

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#225904 - 02/28/07 05:58 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
LouCypher Offline
@
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/19/06
Posts: 9958
Loc: fortified
Partner with Howard Stern on this and its $$$$.Pitch the idea,sign up for a % and sit back. He'll do the rest.
_________________________
i just lock, load, and regret. - jamesn

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#225905 - 02/28/07 10:26 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
John Floofin Offline
Porn Icon

Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
Ava Rose could get my vote.

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#225906 - 03/01/07 03:04 AM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
The Ghost Is Toast Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
Quote:


Pick a few judges like AI has- a former porner like Gia Jordan, maybe a fat minority guy, and let Windsock be Simon. Set it up so they can make their catty and hateful remarks between performances and in general interact with the contestants.





I got you covered on this one, Bornyo....


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#225907 - 03/01/07 04:25 AM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
*L*G* Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America
i voted for sierra sin

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#225908 - 03/01/07 09:44 AM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
Jeff Steward Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/14/03
Posts: 7408
Loc: JM Productions
Quote:



Maybe we can help you come up with the list of finalists, too. I nominate Kimberly Kane.





It aint gonna happen folks. For starters KK dont do the anal and the whore is a germaphobe. As hot as she is and as much as I would like to have her be part of our family its just not to be. Shes just to much of a premadonna.
_________________________
all women should be victims of something, because they lied. - big moose

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#225909 - 03/01/07 12:30 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
k1ng Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
Annette Schwarz would be a good choice. She's German so she has the genetic makeup to be sadistic when necessary and she'll do anything on film.



Attachments
216493-u.jpg (2 downloads)

_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey

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#225910 - 03/01/07 03:41 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
I'd get Nikki Hunter. Cancer or no cancer, that girl will raise hell.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.

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#225911 - 03/01/07 09:10 PM Re: Open letter to Jeff Steward
Random Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
Quote:

and the whore is a germaphobe.




Weird. That's kind of like a painter who's allergic to paint, or a Lockwood who's allergic to cock.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin

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