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#211512 - 01/02/07 08:52 AM
A Modest Introduction
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ADT regular
Registered: 01/02/07
Posts: 18
Loc: Newbury, Ma
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Greetings fellow pornography fans. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is William X. Brighton III. My overreaching goal for joining this fine board is threefold: 1. To discuss the adult film industry. 2. To review adult films. 3. To bring some gravely needed class and dignity to XPT. In order to help you people better understand myslelf, allow me to inform you of my background as well as my distinguished accomplishments:
- I was born in Merideth, New Hampshire on October 20, 1955.
- I am classically a trained pianist.
- I graduated from Yale with a 4.2GPA. My awards were plentiful. Most notably, I received the Edward O. Millswell award for excellency.
- I currently hold 17 records for the Yale track and field team.
- I have climbed Mt. Everest three times.
- I have made love to over 3,000 women of 17 different nationalities.
- I have set foot on every continent on Earth.
- I am the founder of Clyde Downing Project.
- I served in Operation Desert Storm, where I registered 147 confirmed kills, most of them adult males.
- I served on the board of trustees for the Atlantic Coast Citizens Alliance (ACCA).
- I have fathered 27 children, none of which I have any social or financial ties with whatsoever.
- While wintering in Wisconsin in 1978, I overpowered and killed a 12 point buck with my bare hands.
- I have fostered 4 generations of champion Irish Wolfhounds.
- I am one of only three people certified to handle nuclear waste in the state of South Dakota.
- I founded the Plaat County Anti-terrorist Action Squad.
- I made the 12th largest diamond mine discovery in South Africa.
- I have discovered and named 137 recognized species.
- I have over 400 publications in journals ranging from economics to abnormal psychology.
- I am the founder of the South Point Anti-gypsy league.
- I spent 7 years in the CIA.
- I own every adult film released in the United States between 1978-2003.
- I spent 3 years with the Hnu tribe of Papua New Guinea.
- I own and operate 7 factories in four different countries.
- I am trained in muaythai and took 3rd place in the Stranton County regional tough man competition.
- I tried out for the Buffalo Bills in 1977, ‘81, ‘82, and ‘93.
- I have appeared in 5 major motion picture films.
- I served as a liasion for the 9/11 Commission.
- I have written 27 novels, 15 of which have been published.
- I was paralyzed in a ski lift accident in 1987. I have since made a full recovery and can leg press over 3,000 lbs.
- I mentored Cliffton L. Jameson, the inventor of the commercial drug Plavix.
- I am a legal citizen of Belgium, Italy, and Turkmenistan.
These are just a few of my numerous accomplishments. I look forward to cordially conversing with all of you concerning all that is unclean.
Sincerely,
William X. Brighton III
_________________________
People like you ruin the true meaning behind what love is and really should be. You suck. - Gen Padova
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#211515 - 01/02/07 09:15 AM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 3812
Loc: Neither here, nor there.
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I call bullshit. Tried Googling a few of your "accomplishments", with no results.
_________________________
"You know this is XXXPornTalk.com right? You sound like an ADT person. I want to poop on you." -Malice
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#211516 - 01/02/07 09:20 AM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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I must formally call Shenanigans on our new member. Or should I say on one of our old member's alt IDs. No one man born since 1870 could accomplish so much in one lifetime. Plus the paralyzed, cured and leg pressing shit was just too funny.
This post should be in the Cage, but full marks for an amusing intro.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#211520 - 01/02/07 11:11 AM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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I seriously enjoyed this thread, glad he chose Yale as the source of his bullshit. Who was the fake Ivy League chick last year that harrased me and James, and made me fear, for a brief moment, that Elizabeth 'slurpy' Wurtzel had registered here to haunt me some more? Was it "liz the bunny"? :bananadepressedprozacslut:
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#211521 - 01/02/07 11:18 AM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 1248
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Man, some of you guys take trolls way too seriously.
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#211522 - 01/02/07 11:27 AM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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ADT regular
Registered: 01/02/07
Posts: 18
Loc: Newbury, Ma
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I'd like to thank my fellow XPTers for the overwhelming, immediate, and warm responses. I'm still trying to keep up with all the pm's. With 8 replies in just over 2 hours, I calculate my welcome thread will have well over 35,00 posts by the end of 2007. I am William X. Brighton III. I hear you XPT.
_________________________
People like you ruin the true meaning behind what love is and really should be. You suck. - Gen Padova
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#211524 - 01/02/07 11:44 AM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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I'm sure Meredith, NH would appreciate if you spelled it properly, especially seeing as you're from there.
However, I could understand if you fucked up the adjoining Lake Winnipesaukee.
Quote:
- I was born in Merideth, New Hampshire on October 20, 1955.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#211527 - 01/02/07 12:37 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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ADT regular
Registered: 01/02/07
Posts: 18
Loc: Newbury, Ma
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Man, some of you guys take trolls way too seriously.
Ahh yes the lovely Ceara Lynch. I recently narrated your Barely Legal spread for blind children during a recent humanitarian trip to west Africa. There was hardly a dry (or functional) eye in the hut.
I know a escort in Newbury, or I did know one, circa 1995-96...she was pretty hot, charged 500 an hour incall back then...I think her name was Sylvia. Or was it Amanda? No clue if she is still in biz, but you might try the local 'scene' publication, see if she is listed. She specifically mentions/targets Ivy League Gentlemen....just bring a photocopy of your ....'Yale Diploma'....and she will be woman number 3001. She's easy going, even for a hooker, she'll let you 'make love' to her, she doesnt avoid eye contact like most whores. Unless you look like Karl Rove.... 
Thanks for the info DB. Is she by any chance Cantonese? I'm trying to check that one off the list.
_________________________
People like you ruin the true meaning behind what love is and really should be. You suck. - Gen Padova
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#211528 - 01/02/07 12:41 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
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I don't like you smart people
_________________________
"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me.
Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"
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#211529 - 01/02/07 12:42 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9181
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Quote:
I seriously enjoyed this thread, glad he chose Yale as the source of his bullshit. Who was the fake Ivy League chick last year that harrased me and James, and made me fear, for a brief moment, that Elizabeth 'slurpy' Wurtzel had registered here to haunt me some more? Was it "liz the bunny"? :bananadepressedprozacslut:
That was "ivy league slut" who was using pictures of the Polish whore Ines Cudna, outed by yours truly.
Point your mouse here and click you degenerate. 
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#211530 - 01/02/07 12:49 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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I'm glad the smart people are posting here instead of running the country into the ground or trying to force tears at Gerald Ford's shindig.
WillieD: quality outing, btw. ::golfclap::
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#211532 - 01/02/07 01:13 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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There's something about the pompousness, the intricacy of the farcical claims and the rhythm of the retorts.... I think it may be "Rev." guy Wille D sent packing. 
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#211533 - 01/02/07 01:36 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 10/26/05
Posts: 319
Loc: Outskirts of Parts Unknown
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Quote:
Quote:
Man, some of you guys take trolls way too seriously.
Ahh yes the lovely Ceara Lynch. I recently narrated your Barely Legal spread for blind children during a recent humanitarian trip to west Africa. There was hardly a dry (or functional) eye in the hut.
Ha. This is an awesome gimmick. I wondered if the guy was going to flame out faster than Columbia when that Indian bitch left the door open, but this guy has A-game for the General Forum. Stay out of the cage, though.
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#211535 - 01/02/07 02:02 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Paste in graphics program like paint and save as jpeg.
Attachments
202613-try.jpg (36 downloads)
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#211536 - 01/02/07 02:03 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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"alt- print screen" captures the screen, then you can paste it into photoshop or paintshop from your clipboard. Oh wait I guess you've already done that? Then save the image as a "jpg" file and attach/upload it.
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#211537 - 01/02/07 02:15 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
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Hmmm....
By the way, thanks for the help Fatman and Bornyo.
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim
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#211538 - 01/02/07 02:16 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Now that was a damn good catch, MB!
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#211540 - 01/02/07 02:21 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Maybe the preacher is Charles Barkley.
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#211542 - 01/02/07 02:22 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Oooh, the plot thickens. Nod to The Fatman for even suggesting a witch hunt like this. I'd have expected it from our New England posters, personally, but well done FM.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#211543 - 01/02/07 02:25 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Charles Barkley regged 12-30.
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#211545 - 01/02/07 02:36 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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Plus, the day you see someone registering an id on the "who's online" may not be the same day that particular id is "approved" to start posting, so the day you see someone registering may not coincide with the reg date shown. Maybe.
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#211547 - 01/02/07 03:01 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
hahaha you have to be approved? I had no idea. At least don't remember it's been a long time.
You can thank pafh for the change in registration requirements.
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#211550 - 01/02/07 05:34 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
Quote:
Charles Barkley regged 12-30.
Are these reg dates accurate?
Have2CIt = Aug 9 2006??
No.
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#211552 - 01/02/07 05:52 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i went to high school like 5 miles from newbury. as an aside, there are some mad rich niggas in that place.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#211556 - 01/02/07 05:59 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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#211557 - 01/02/07 06:21 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
i went to high school like 5 miles from newbury. as an aside, there are some mad rich niggas in that place.
Forget the escort, but I knew several chicks from Newbury, they liked to come to Harvard Square (back in the late 80s early 90s) and hang out at places like The Charles Hotel, The Spaghetti Club and even that biker bar, the Bow and Arrow Pub....is that still there James?
One blurred evening, I remember being out with a group of friends and hooking up with a couple chicks who later said they were from the area, further specifying Newbury. We went into the Hong Kong at like 1:30 am (the only place worthwhile open at that hour that would still let us in...) One of the chicks paid for everything, which included about 8 scorpion bowls and a shitload of their MSG laden food, including the infamous Neon Pork (that pork shit they somehow color HOT PINK around the edges....looks great if you Puke it up later on...) Rich, bored, horny chicks in College RULE!
I miss the scorpion bowls by the way james, can you fed ex me one in a Haz Mat container?
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#211558 - 01/02/07 06:35 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 10/04/06
Posts: 522
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christ, and I thought the ufc/mma thread was gay. If burg sucks on james's root anymore about the glory days you may as well call this place xxxfalconstudiostalk.com
_________________________
Gigi, it's like you're putting a rainbow in all of our hearts...  - faggypatty
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#211559 - 01/02/07 06:49 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 10/04/06
Posts: 522
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gia, I'm saddened that your post was either removed or deleted by yourself
_________________________
Gigi, it's like you're putting a rainbow in all of our hearts... - faggypatty
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#211560 - 01/02/07 07:00 PM
Re: A Modest Introduction
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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I'll say it again then. I love you, Papercut.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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