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#204853 - 12/03/06 04:38 PM 12 types of females!
Anonymous
Unregistered


got this in my spambox......but its pretty funny


12 types of females!

1. Ms. Gold-Digger

Advantages
a. You have some one to manage your money.
b. She always looks good.
c. She makes your other niggas jealous.
d. She makes you look good.

Disadvantages
a. When you get broke she'll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your nigga comes up she'll be on his arm the next day.




2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)

Advantages
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She'll try everything more than once.
c. You're never unsatisfied.
d. She'll do all the things your girl won't do.
e. She doesn't mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.

Disadvantages
a. Eventually, b/c she's a female, she'll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she's your "main".
c. She fucks wit ya boy and act like you in the wrong for telling her that she's a freak.
d. Eventually her shit gets old. And you need a replacement.



3. Ms. Independent

Advantages
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it.
b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She's great for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.

Disadvantages
a. She will continuously let you know, that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say fuck you and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one her play toys, or goals.







4. Ms. Dyme
Advantages
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model"
e. Gets you on hard whenever you see her.
f. All the girls envy her, but she doesn't care.

Disadvantages
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up b/c every nigga is gonna try to get her.


5. Ms. Tomboy

Advantages
a. She's cool and laid back.
b. She'll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she loves sports.
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She's a diamond in the rough.

Disadvantages
a. She'll remind you too much of your nigga.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football and track.


6. Ms. Ghetto

Advantages
a. She's not afraid of any other female or male. She will fight to keep you.
b. She's down for you. She'll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She's always stays fresh.
d. She can cook up a storm. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
e. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.

Disadvantages
a. She doesn't know how to act in public.
b. Your mama can't stand her.
c. You get into with her every other second.
d. She's willing to fight another girl looking at you or her PERIOD.
e. Her weave colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.






7. Ms. Good Girl

Advantages
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.

Disadvantages
a. She's an A or B situation either:
A. You're not gonna get any until ya'll are married or
B. She said she's never done - she said she's never tried - she's sitting there telling a muthafukkin' lie.


8. Ms. Main

Advantages
a. She is the one you respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a female.
d. You've been with her forever.

Disadvantages
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in your act and then kick your ass


9. Ms. Psycho

Advantages
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.

Disadvantages
a. Don't you break up with her. She will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Fuckin' with her can make your life a living hell.








10. Ms. I have a Man

Advantages
a. She may have a man but she'll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.

Disadvantages
a. She'll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She'll get you caught up and then leave you anyway for her man.
c. If you piss her off she'll get her man to come beat your ass.
d. She'll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.

11. Ms. Tease

Advantages
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every nigga wants her b/c she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.

Disadvantages
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)

12. MRS. RIGHT

Advantages
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme she is Beautiful and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows his virtues.
f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%.
g. She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She's always there for, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her, she's your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your boys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
o. She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your *bleep*. But she's also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She's nothing like any other girl you've met. She's your woman.

Disadvantage
a. You've probably met her, or had her in your life but got too consumed with all the other types that you let her go

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#204854 - 12/03/06 06:11 PM Re: 12 types of females!
N-Word Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 11/28/06
Posts: 167
Loc: Billings,MT
_________________________
Christian gets so turned on by getting stuffed with two she-cocks at the same time that he wants it totally raw—no condoms—so the girls oblige by stuffing him full of raw she-meat.

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#204855 - 12/03/06 08:26 PM Re: 12 types of females!
Cerberus Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2723
Loc: A very dark inner place, join ...
_________________________
'' Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.'' Peter Griffin

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#204856 - 12/04/06 04:23 AM Re: 12 types of females!
Holly Randall Offline
Chronic Masturbator

Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
Wow I am so #3...
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.

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#204857 - 12/04/06 02:32 PM Re: 12 types of females!
nago Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 03/08/06
Posts: 219
Loc: Japan
I told this gold digger off. Actually, she was my best friend.

She quit both of her jobs and has moved away.

Guess you could put me in the stalker/psycho cat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEDT0DieMVI&mode=related&search=

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#204858 - 12/04/06 02:40 PM Re: 12 types of females!
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
Did you show her how to get on disability?

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#204859 - 12/04/06 03:12 PM Re: 12 types of females!
Soopergrizz Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 3724
Loc: Paddling my canoe in the wild
Quote:

I told this gold digger off. Actually, she was my best friend.

She quit both of her jobs and has moved away.

Guess you could put me in the stalker/psycho cat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEDT0DieMVI&mode=related&search=




It's almost cute that in your fantasy world you have friends and girlfriends that you have relationships with, whilst in the real world you are an ex-con loser that can't find a job as mop-boy at a Bukkakke shoot. In order to help Canada's deficit reduction, please light yourself on fire - death is optional.

Please?

I see you like this, only without the dignity:

_________________________
You're all still alive?

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#204860 - 12/04/06 05:31 PM Re: 12 types of females!
nago Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 03/08/06
Posts: 219
Loc: Japan
grizz your always correct

When im at work all the women just butter me up because they feel sorry for me. Im not as good looking as i think.

Your right that im a ex con. I was so far off that i thought that i could overcome all my obstacles. But your right...I am delusional.

Iam just fooling myself...

I do have a distorted view of the world

In fact, on wed. I will be attending the online chat.

In my mind i will be packing my suitcase and going on a business trip

And again i will think that im actually communicating with a real female and real people

Sometimes i even think guapo is real.

But its my sickness





See you fuckers on wed.

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#204861 - 12/04/06 09:41 PM Re: 12 types of females!
Soopergrizz Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 3724
Loc: Paddling my canoe in the wild
you bring the kerosene, I'll bring the zippo
_________________________
You're all still alive?

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#204862 - 12/04/06 09:44 PM Re: 12 types of females!
nago Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 03/08/06
Posts: 219
Loc: Japan
Ha ha so true. You always have the zippo since your always flaming me



Edited by nago (12/04/06 09:50 PM)

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#204863 - 12/04/06 09:47 PM Re: 12 types of females!
Phlogiston Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
Where's "Ms. Coke slut" on the list? That's what I always seem to find.

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#204864 - 12/04/06 10:05 PM Re: 12 types of females!
nago Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 03/08/06
Posts: 219
Loc: Japan
nt got rid of the fake poop stuff


Edited by nago (12/05/06 12:54 AM)

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#204865 - 12/04/06 10:12 PM Re: 12 types of females!
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Folks nago has made an identity shift in this thread- from stupid asian martial arts porn fan advice seeker to english as primary language idiot on a porn message board. The alternate id's are getting old.

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#204866 - 12/04/06 10:36 PM Re: 12 types of females!
Phlogiston Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
Quote:

could this chick on the bottom be your coke slut?

http://www.crazyshit.com/cnt/medias/10927




Nah. My coke sluts tend to be caucasian and typically blonde. I imagine that I could shit on them if I secured an eightball though.

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